Episode 572 – Look for meaning

• I have found that there are quite a few similarities between fixing a meal out of random ingredients and getting through a difficult time
• Sounds strange?

• Welcome back my friends
• I am glad you’re here
• Because that means you are not alone
• Even though I am not there with you – I am here
• I am a voice in your ear,
• I am a person behind my microphone which sends my voice across waves into your ear
• I am here
• And I probably have some of the same thoughts and feelings as you
  • Especially right now
  • As we are experiencing very similar outside events
• And this is why its important that we are not alone
• Just as I seek to connect with you – I am glad you’re doing the same
• This time may appear isolating and lonely but that’s only the surface
• I am glad you’re here because I want to help you see what’s beyond the surface
• When your worries and doubts and fears come in
  • Its often just a different thought
  • A different perspective that needs to be introduced
  • And that is what I am here for
• Just like a friend, whom you go seek out to talk about something on your mind
  • If it’s a good friend, you leave not only feeling better
  • You leave with a new perspective
  • A changed mind
  • An idea on a next step
• Right now these friends can seem far away
• The meetings we have are not as personal as they used to be
  • We cannot hug each other
  • We have to keep this strange distance should we dare to see one another
  • Or we look at an image on a screen
  • And we cant taste that wonderful cake that our friend made and shows us – through the screen
• So yes,
• It feels all so ….. hopeless?
• Yes it can
• When we focus on what we don’t have, life always feels hopeless
• Because we cant imagine a way to get it
• And that brings us to a place of stuck
• And right now – I can be stuck in so many ways
  • When will I get a hug again?
  • Or even just a gentle pad on my back, or my head?
• They feel so good, these gentle touches, don’t they?
• I miss them
• But I can’t focus on what is no longer here
  • and that I don’t if or when its coming back
• But I also cannot pretend everything is ok
• Or that everything will work out,
• and this is what is so flawed with the happiness and positivity band wagon everyone wants us to jump on all the time
  • I can’t be happy in a time when people are dying by the thousands
  • I find it hard to be positive when people lose jobs by the millions
• So what do we do?
  • With our loneliness
  • Our sadness
  • Our worry and our fear?
  • All that anxiety about the future?
• Its there – so lets acknowledge it
• Just as it is
• And then lets do something with it
• Let me share something with you that has happened to me a few times lately – and that I think holds the answer for our question:
• Have you ever stood in the kitchen and desperately looked through your cabinets, pantry and fridge trying to find something that you could turn into dinner?
• I do this a lot these days when I am running out of things but don’t yet feel enough pain to make a 2-hour long and 200 dollar worth grocery trip
  • Because that’s how long they take now
  • And that’s how much I spend after I think about every item in the store for 5 minutes and add every 3^rd one to my cart
• So yes, I run out of things
• But I also have a lot stocked up
• So when dinner time rolls around, I often find myself looking, perusing the options, and wondering what to do with what I have
• From friends that have families I have heard this before
  • I can easily skip dinner or just eat a granola bar
  • But when there are several people in your household that are hungry, its probably not such a good idea to just put a box of granola bars on the table
• And I try not eat like this either
• I make an effort to have a healthy meal, especially in a time of a health crisis
• And every time I think my meal will be below average
  • Because I don’t have cheese to put on top
  • Or I had to replace the meat with beans
  • Or I threw things in my salad that I have never thrown in before
• Somehow
• I don’t know how
• But by the grace of some kind of culinary god
• I end up with some of my best meals
• Meals I say – wow, I need to make this again
• As a side note
  • I now regularly add almost anything to my salads
  • Who says you can only put cucumber, tomatoes, and bell pepper on top of your lettuce?
  • Out of days where I ran out of those regular items, came some of my best salads that I still make to this date
• I am sure you can relate to this
• In times of desperation, our creativity and our resourcefulness surfaces
• Here is the magic lesson in this kitchen example
• Its called action
  • The smallest step towards working with what is
  • Not resisting it
  • Not curling up in bed crying over the empty pantry
  • But taking a step –
    • A physical step – walking into the kitchen
    • But also a mental step – by directing our thoughts from what we don’t have, towards lets see what we got here
  • And let me bet that we all do this
  • We all take action most of the time – when we are hungry and when our loved ones are hungry
    • And I am sure the box of granola bars is a rare occurrence
  • We all fabricate amazing meals out of what seems to be nothing, right?
    • Ok well, maybe they are not always amazing
    • But they are creative
    • We make do with what we have
  • Sure, it would taste better with cheese on top
  • But whatever you put on top also works, maybe is healthier, or even tastes better
  • When we take action, magic happens
  • we can’t always find happiness or positivity
  • but there is one thing we can all try to do
    • especially right now
  • We can look for meaning
  • Just as we looked in our pantry for ingredients, we can look for meaning in whatever is happening at the moment
  • In the kitchen you ask yourself –
    • what can I do with this can of beans?
    • How will I combine what I have here into a good meal?
  • This is life
  • Its not perfect
  • Not all ingredients are there all the time –
    • sometimes we have more to work with, and sometimes less
    • the important thing is that we work with it
    • and not stall
    • not
  • so if you feel hungry – go to the kitchen
  • I am certain, you will find a few things that can make a decent meal
  • And if you feel lonely, anxious, depressed, worried
  • Do the same
  • ask yourself – what can I do with this situation?
  • What can I do with the knowledge, the skills, the information and the tools I have that will give me a decent outcome?
  • Feeling lonely, anxious worried, is like feeling hungry
  • Apply the recipe you already know –
  • Get up and take stock of what you got
  • Make do with what you have and get creative
  • And if you’re listening right now to me – then you already did this
  • And that’s why I said in the beginning – I am glad you’re here
  • That means you have looked around
  • That means you have found me
  • And I hope this helps you
  • Right now
  • We all need to do a lot of looking
  • I am
  • Just this morning I drove to the woods because nature gives that sense of calm and relaxes my mind
  • And I asked a lot of questions this morning in that conversation with myself
  • Asking questions keeps me engaged with life
  • It prevents me from sinking
  • It keeps me on my toes
  • So I want to encourage you my friends
  • Look for meaning
  • Look for what this time right now is telling you
  • And there isn’t necessarily just one message that you have to uncover
  • There may be many things
  • From simple things like eating better and getting our more –
    • I see so many people out walking
    • I bet most of these people never had a regular walking practice
  • To more complicated things
  • Like addressing your loneliness or your anxiety
  • Look for meaning and then get up and go to the kitchen to see what you can find
    • Become resourceful as if you’re hungry
    • Try out things, even if you have never done it – most people using Zoom now have never used Zoom before
  • and then see what works
  • I promise you, if you just get up and try, you will find something
  • I created a meetup – out of the blue
  • And that meetup not only gave me new friends, but it gave me my routine back
  • I have a reason to get out of bed again
  • It was a test
  • It could have failed, but I tried
  • For whatever pain point you currently feel – go and try something
  • And if it doesn’t work, try something else
  • I do hope that my podcast helps you with some of it
  • And if it does, please share it with a friend

Much love