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Episode 473 – Its worth a try

• Welcome friends
• I want to start out with a little quote I am sure you have heard before

It goes like this:

“It’s impossible,” said pride.
“It’s risky,” said experience.
“It’s pointless,” said reason.
“It’s still worth a try,” whispered the heart

• for all of us reason-driven people, where the world has to make logical sense – this quote may get dismissed as emotional nonsense
• and yet I would bet you all have made decisions based on your heart before
  • when the numbers didn’t add up and you still went for it
  • when everyone said it wont work, and you still gave it a shot
  • when it didn’t make sense logically, yet you went by your intuition
• we all do it
  • this is how we give people in our life another chance, even after they disappoint us
  • its when we say yes to opportunities that don’t look very promising
  • and when we try something new that – from looking at it from the outside – cannot possibly work out
• and sometimes these adventures truly do not work out
  • the people keep disappointing us, hurting us more
  • the opportunity we went for was a waste of time
  • we failed miserably at the new thing we tried
• but there have also been many times where things just work out and you find yourself telling others –
  • I just knew it would work
  • I had a feeling
  • It felt right
• You listened to your heart and left reason in the background
• Before science was thing, people made guesses, followed their intuition, gathered information based on what they saw and knew from experience
  • A student of Plato and tutor to Alexander the Great, Aristoteles believed and taught his students that the heart was the true center of human intelligence and not the brain.
• science today recognizes that there is truth to that and call it Heart Intelligence, a higher level of awareness that arises from the heart.
• research has discovered that…
  • The human heart has approximately 40,000 neural cells.
  • This means the heart has it’s own nervous system, which actually sends more information to the brain, than the brain sends to the heart!
  • every heart contraction creates a wave that pushes blood through the veins and arteries providing the energetic signal that helps synchronize all the cells of the body, including the brain.
  • the heart also produces hormones, that control blood- pressure, adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin (the love hormone).
    • Oxytocin reduces fear, increases eye-contact, and increases trust and generosity.
  • the heart’s electromagnetic field is 5,000 times more powerful than the brain’s!
• There is a constant two-way dialog between the heart and the brain.
• Our emotions change the signals the brain sends to the heart and the heart responds in complex ways. 
• Why am I telling you this:
• Because often we dismiss our heart
  • We dont have enough evidence, or
  • The numbers don’t support it
• And we wreck our brain trying to make a reasonable decision when our gut tells us clearly something completely different
• We often struggle – who should we listen to – our heart or our brain?

• I wont tell you to only listen to your heart
• But I believe we need to tune in more to the dialogue that’s happening between heart and brain
• I mentioned Heart Intelligence earlier
• also known as HQ or Heart IQ is a higher level of awareness that shows itself in the ability to be fully real, present, connected and heart-directed in every area of your life
• this will lead to greater levels of performance, creativity, and intuition
• I interpret this as making decision not just based on the heart, but including our heart into our decisions
•  
• But here is something that helps me distinguish better all the often conflicting signals in my mind when it comes to daily choices – some more harder than others
  • When my heart feels very strongly about something, its usually an indication to pay closer attention to it
    • This is when I feel things are right
    • When my intuition is giving me this sense that it will be ok despite the data showing me otherwise
    • It’s a sense of ease and lightness that comes as soon as I let go the grip on my brain and that it has to be certain way and instead go where my heart wants me to go
      • I often feel this when it comes to human interactions
      • My brain gives me all sorts of reasoning as to what the other person should say or do
      • When I stop all the voices in my head and allow some empathy to come in through my heart, I often realize that I cannot force my standards onto others
      • Everyone has their own way of shining their light and I can accept their glow or turn towards someone else
      • I also is often the case when I go for something new
      • I can get easily excited about new adventures
        • Someone suggests a trip to a new place, a new route to climb, anything that poses a challenge – and I am usually game
        • Later however, when things begin to get more serious – when the planning starts, when my responsibilities become clear, I often shy away and doubts creep in
        • However, the initial enthusiasm that I feel usually carries me through – there was a reason I felt the excitement
      • But there are also times where I feel like I should be following my heart, but I know that my brain is right
      • And we all know these moment – but we tend to ignore them at our convenience
        • An old acquaintance has gotten back in touch with me recently, as it happens sometimes in our lives
        • My heart really wants to be kind and meet this person that keeps insisting on dinner
        • But my brain also speaks very clearly and reminds me of the past and why we were never really able to connect back years ago
        • I know the dinner will be a waste of time for both of us because we just cannot connect
        • Time hasn’t changed that – but our hearts don’t have a sense of time
        • Our brains do and these are moments where we need to be more reasoned and rational
        • When we have tried something that didn’t work – why try it again in the exact same way, hoping for a different outcome?
        • The brain needs to be consulted before we make big decisions
        • The heart may feel sentimental about the choice, but the brain has recorded our previous experiences
        • This is now knowledge we have and that we need to consult
      • I feel that quite often, we know who is right
      • But it can be difficult to navigate everything we think and feel
      • Here are a couple of things I do as a last check, before committing to a decision:

• When I dam about to go with my heart, a question I often ask is:
  • What do I have to lose?
    • The answer is often – very little
    • Its merely fear that standing in the way
    • I shared a recent example with you where i invited someone to my speech that I had just met and that I didn’t know would be interested
    • Logic screamed NO
    • Who do you think you are
    • You are not yet good enough to invite a person with such caliber
    • But then I asked myself – whats the worst that can happen
    • And its usually a No thanks
    • I stated my podcast this way
    • I joined Toastmasters this way
    • I started climbing this way
    • What do I have to loose?
    • Often nothing but a try
      • A little time
      • Maybe a small amount of money
      • A shift in my schedule or routine
    • But when I look back –
    • These decisions from the heart led to some of the biggest changes in my life
  • But there are many times when the brain is steering us correctly
  • Before going with my brain I take a little break to analyze the situation
  • And a question I often ask myself in this scenario is:
    • What do I already know?
      • I am reminding myself of past experiences
      • My own knowledge
      • Not what others say or think
      • Not what I think is true
      • I am not making assumptions
      • I am simply reflecting on my own expertise
      • The facts
    • A goo example is my recent attempt to buy a car
      • I need a new car – eventually
      • I really want that particular car
      • And I had many other reasons
      • But in the end I realized they were mostly emotional
      • I wanted the car
      • But I cant really afford it right now
      • The facts are – my financial situation is not where it needs to be for a car purchase
      • My brain was right and when I took a break and allowed some space, reason kicked in
    • We need to do the same in our relationships with others
    • Our heart tends to be kind and generous and sometimes more than is needed
    • When others take advantage of us, or don’t value our contribution its time to step back look at things from a distance
    • Take a break and ask yourself
      • What do I know?
      • Have I been through this before with this person?
      • What was my previous outcome?
    • Those are facts because you have experienced them
    • And when things repeat them selves in the same way over and over again, its safe to say that there is a pattern that needs changing if we want a different outcome
  • Take a break
    • Sleep
    • Go for a walk
    • Listen to some god music
    • Journal or read
  • Often we come back after the break clearly knowing what is the right thing to do because heart and brain had some time to breathe

• We all experience our heart’s intelligence a bit differently.
• When my gut is right, I feel lightness, and ease about my decision , and I get excited
• You may feel butterflies in your gut, a warm sensation growing around your body, or tingling in your fingertips.
• You may not even feel anything but have a clear, short answer that comes through your mind.
• Simply think back of the times where you followed your heart and what you felt so you can get to know yourself better

“It’s impossible,” said pride.
“It’s risky,” said experience.
“It’s pointless,” said reason.
“It’s still worth a try,” whispered the heart

• When your heart nudges you to try – then give it a try
• But check with your brain so you don’t waste your time on something you already have tried before
• Maybe change your approach – try a different way – ask for help

I hope this helps you

Much love