Episode 531 – You are in control

• Welcome back my friends
• When this episode releases, it will be the last day of the month of January 2020
• Wow
• This month flew by
• I am looking at my monthly goals in despair
• My major tasks did not get done
• I started things, but I didn’t make much progress
• How are you feeling about your goals?
• Or your progress in general?
• If you are also feeling like me – with your days just running away – then I have a simple but important reminder for you today
• You are in control
• Its not the thing we want to hear, I know
• Its not the thing I want to hear
• But as I look at the Monthly calendar view in my agenda and I look through the days of January, I know
  • I was in charge on all those days
• I was in control of what I did every hour and every minute of each day
  • I decided what to eat
  • I decided what to spend my free time on
  • I decided on the workouts I did
  • And who I spent time with
• We make these decisions every day
  • One extra hour spent at the office every day could result in a promotion
  • But it could also cause us to be late for dinner with the family and a lack of good communication with our loved ones
• We make many decisions every day and all of them have some form of consequence
• but I would venture out and say that often we don’t think about the outcome
• This is why goals are so critical
• Goals keep us focused and help us prioritize
  • We would be intentional about the extra hour at the office if the promotion was more important than the family time
• But without a goal we often lose track over our time
• But, so I realized this month
• Even with goals this can happen
• While I had them in the back of my mind, and while I did a little about them I did not have all of them all front and center, and I did more on some and less or nothing on others
• Goals help us control our time
• They can give us direction on how to allocate time in the best possible way
• Without goals, we will drift
• We drift towards what is easy and what we like best
• And some of our goals may fall into that category
• My yoga practice early morning for example is coming easy to me now after doing it for almost 2 months
• But researching and applying for speaking gigs?

I haven’t done a thing

• But we also drift towards whatever calls our attention at the moment
  • Instagram
  • Ice cream
  • Amazon
  • Hanging out with friends
• Not all distractions are negative and necessarily time wasters
• But if they don’t help us achieve our objectives, then it still could have been the wrong thing to do
  • For me, this may mean I have to sacrifice climbing for a weekend – an activity I love and that is on my list of things I want to get better at
  • I may also have to sacrifice a workout here and there or an hour of sleep, all things that are critical for me
• But this is what I mean by control
• we manage our days
• sometimes this means we have to manage the distractions by focusing on what matters
• and sometimes it may mean managing conflicting priorities
•  
• Last week a friend invited me to an event he organized
• It was last minute, and on a Thursday
  • My climbing night
  • And I am just getting back into gym climbing after the holidays and really need to
  • I am not in shape and need to prepare for the outdoor season which will start back up soon
• I was close to saying no to this friend
• I had already started typing a text message
• But I sat back and thought for a moment
• And here are the things that came to mind
  • He has come to my events and supported me
  • His event was at a really cool venue downtown that I have never been to and wanted to see
  • There would be people I could meet
  • And I though about one of my goals for the year which includes growing my network
  • Plus I really want to collaborate with this friend more
  • Its Miguel, BTW, and you can listen to my interview with him
  • It was episode

• So I called him
• And when he told me that he had already sold over 50 tickets – I knew – this event wasn’t to be missed
• So I didn’t go climbing
• I went home, took a nap which I really needed and then went
• And I really enjoyed myself
• And I walked away with a ton of ideas
• Soon we are getting together to brainstorm and I cannot wait to see what will come out of it
•  
• A Goal is not enough
  • Knowing it
  • Writing it down
  • Then reviewing it frequently
  • And taking it into consideration during every day decisions
• This is how it gets accomplished
• And this is how we take control
•  
• Next time you find yourself saying
  • My busy travel schedule kept me from working our regularly
  • My living situation is such that I cant cook and prep my meals ahead of time
  • The snacks everywhere at the office are making it hard to stick to my diet
  • The class starts to early in the mornings for me to make it there in time
• Be clear on the fact that you are giving up control
• Instead of managing those often difficult situations, even obstacles, you are giving in
• You are allowing them to dictate your end result
• Taking control requires a lot of work
• It means you constantly reflect whether or not what you’re doing is in line with your desired outcome
• It helps when that outcome is crystal clear
• In order to remind yourself of the desired outcome I found it helpful to ask myself questions like these more frequently:

• What do I want to look like in 2 weeks?
• What kind of person do I want to be tomorrow?
• Who do I want people to see me as?
• How do I want to show up in the world

• I ask myself these questions depending on the situation, but before decisions that I know I may regret later
  • Snacking in the office, which stalls my workout and weightless goals for example
  • Time allocation, like the example I gave you with my friend Miguel
• It helps to think before you act
• Give yourself a few minutes to consider your decision
• This is the moment where you take control
• When we react based on our impulses, we often don’t come from a place of control
• Control is gained when we make a conscious and well-thought through choice
•  
• We are in control more than we think
• With often just some minor tweaks, we can make some pretty significant changes in our life
• So I encourage you
• Take some control
• Spend a few minutes thinking about the areas of your life where you feel like something is holding you back and figure out a way, even if not a perfect one that leaves you more in control
• I know I will take a hard look at my schedule and figure out where I need to change my priorities to tackle some of my 2020 goals, for which I now only have 11 months left

• Don’t forget to share this podcast with someone you think might enjoy it so we can grow this QFY community

Much love