Episode 17

• What matters to you?
• What is important to you in life?
• Have you thought about this?
• If not – today we will
• I am not talking about things, or accomplishments
• I am talking about your Values, your principles and how you want to carry yourself through life
• If you google values you will find many websites with lists of values,
• They include words such as commitment, compassion, honesty, responsibility, respect
• Those are values
• But today I want to think us to think about it a little deeper, beyond a good-sounding noun
• Lets dig into values and why they are important
• First of all – if you never thought about values, that doesn’t mean you don’t have any
• I call values your guiding principles, the rules that you live by
• And I know – rules and principles are strong words
• But lets ignore that for a minute
• Lets focus on why they are important
• I love the ocean. So when I think of life as the huge ocean, and myself in a little boat on the ocean, floating along, then I also see that often I don’t have direction
• Life carries me and if sometimes I stir left or right, but I don’t have a clear path
• My values are my path
• If you don’t have them, you let yourself be carried by life
• You see, life has so much to offer today
• Especially for those of us who are fortunate to have the means
• With almost everything – we have options – too many at times
• And it can be easy to just let ourselves be carried by those options
• Fashion trends, food choices, entertainment, media, products and services
• So many options to live an amazing life
• But how do you decide?
• How do you pick the next vacation destination, the new sweater, your body lotion, which social media site to spend your free time on,
• How do you select a job?
• Your partner?
• How do you decide?
• Did advertising tell you the product is great for you?
• That’s a wave
• Are all your friends using it?
• That’s another wave
• Or did you just make a decision in the spur of the moment? Or because you thought that was only option?
• Also a wave
• Your values are your compass. They will help you navigate
• They will help you guide through life’s endless choices, large or small.
• Without knowing what is important to you, how can you make a good decision?
• You see – your values are your inner reference point that you measure most of your important decisions against
• Its ok to float some times and let life carry you, but you need to be able to find back to your self
• Your values will help you with that
• I even argue that with a strong set of inner core values, you are less dependent on your willpower
• And we know how fickle our willpower is
• Diet example
• Eating healthier
• You make a plan, you buy healthy food and off you go
• And you stick with it, a couple of week everything is good
• You even lost some weight
• Then someone brings your favorite cookies to work and puts them out on the table where you see them all day. And you contemplate and think – well I’ve been so goo, I can have a cookie
• And a cookie doesn’t harm you, but you cheat more often and soon you are back to you old habits
• And you blame will power
• We often do
• We are hard on ourselves, we think we are no strong enough, we tell ourselves weird stuff
• Its hard believe me I know
• But what if check with our inner compass first before we stuff the cookie into our mouth?
• Bounce this against our values
• To have good values you need to inform yourself
• People that don’t eat meat usually have a good set of reasons for avoiding it
• If you decide to avoid certain foods as part of the quest to a healthier lifestyle, then you should have your reasons.
• Maybe you avoid refined sugar because you don’t feel well after eating it. You feel bloated, maybe tired,
• You decide you don’t want to feel that way anymore.
• You want to be productive, focused and energized
• So you eliminate sugar
• But in the cookie example above you didn’t really think about your values
• You were simply tempted by this good looking cookie.
• You know this cookie was pure sugar hidden behind a deceiving costume
• And right after you had one or 5 of them, you regret it – because you don’t feel well.
• The immediate gratification – these 5 seconds where you imagined the taste of this cookie – are gone so quickly – chewing and swallowing – its so quick – the moment of pleasure is so brief
• But the moment of guild is so long
• This is just a very simple example
• But it reflects nicely the concept of outside focus versus inner value
• Did the cookie talk? Almost. It smelled amazing
• But inside you have a voice too. Unfortunately not as loud and visual and sensual as the outside – just a tiny and quiet inner voice that gently reminds you of what you have deemed important
• I don’t want you to feel discouraged after todays episode
• I think only a small portion of people on this planet are able to make all their decisions based on their values
• We all get carried away – we all go for that cookie from time to time, we buy something out of intuition, we go along with other peoples plans because it sounds good
• Its alright
• All I want you to consider today is this:
• Do you have inner values? Do you have an inkling of what is important to you in life?
• I bet you do.
• Think about it today
• Many decisions in life don’t have huge consequences. The cookie example is such a decision
• But what about when it comes to choosing a partner for your life?
• How do you evaluate the people that line up at your door?
• This is a much more important decision.
• So today – think about your values
• You will find that you value things, maybe money or a nice home
• But behind those things is usually a need – maybe a need for financial security, or for protection and safety
• Make sure you identify the need – and ensure that the need is not a dependcy on someone or something else
• “being liked” is not a value – it’s a need depended on someone else doing something
• Think about what matters to you and how you can live the value yourself
• For example one of my values is creating meaningful work
• It’s a value I took on about a year ago
• To me it means that I spend my time doing something that is meaningful and has purpose for me
• Hence – I created this podcast.
• You will find that your values change over time. As your needs and change, so do your values
• If you don’t have any values – Start with 3
• Here are a few that I like – in case you cannot think of any
• Authenticity
• Adventure
• Balance
• Challenge
• Community
• Curiosity
• Determination
• Faith
• Friendships
• Growth
• Happiness
• Influence
• Justice
• Kindness
• Love
• Optimism
• Peace
• Self-Respect
• Stability
• Trustworthiness

• So – I say it again – to make good decision that you don’t regret later, you have to be clear what is important to you in your life
• When you measure you life at the end – you will measure yourself against your values
• And regret happens when you lived a life out of alignment with your values
• Remember – your inner roadmap is steady and stable
• The outside world is fickle and ever-changing
• You will find peace, you will find balance and you will find stability when you are less dependent on outside currents to carry you from here to there
  • You wont need to wait on him to text you back when you realize that you value integrity and honesty – someone that doesn’t display these values has no room in your life
  • You don’t need to buy yet another purse when you realize you rather contribute within your community where nobody cares what brand-name purse you have
  • And you wont need to start yet another diet and exercise routine when you discover that self-love is really what you would like more of in your life
• I wish you success with this exercise of thinking about your values
• And don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need help.
• I am here for you