Episode 44 – Authenticity

• Today I want to invite you on a journey to authenticity
• It’s a difficult topic and I grappled with this
• Because I believe our authentic Self is not a fixed State
• It changes with time, maturity and the wisdom we gain
• but I hear more and more people throw the term around these days
• be authentic, be real
• but what does that mean and how can you be authentic
• we touched on this a little bit in yesterday’s episode
• today I want to take a deeper dive and offer some suggestion that may help you next time you hear people telling you to be real
• I thought about this for some time and came up with 3 characteristics that make authenticity more real, more accessible to our mind and translatable into action

ONE

• Authenticity comes from the inside, not from the outside
• People often don’t realize this
• They seek outside of themselves to find themselves
• They choose brands whose items they wear and decorate their house with as a way to express themselves
• Nothing wrong with enjoying the quality and looks of products
• But many people follow the crowd and feel they need to have something to be someone
• The functionality of the product is less of a focus, and the emphasis is placed on the fulfillment of some form of need, such as the need for attention and love
• That’s an outside focus
• To return to an inner focus you need to let go a little
• Maybe your outside focus got you places, got you recognition and success
• But you need to ask yourself if that is truly you
• And you will know by how you feel
• So often we make decisions based on what we think is good for us
  • This looks good
  • This has good reviews
  • This fills up the bank account
  • This gets me more followers on Instagram
  • This is what everyone does
• There is some surrender involved here, I realize that
• You have to be willing to let go
• Letting go of who you think you need to be
• And allowing yourself to be
• This may mean stepping off the familiar path a little
• The path everyone travels
• And discovering your own path
• The one that aligns with who you truly are
• we often focus on the end destination
• but Remember – your destination is not a place but an experience
• that’s why cars, clothes, shoes and houses, once obtain, don’t bring happiness
• you know this right?

Two

• Authenticity means using your Intuition more often

• our intuition is always there for us but so often we don’t use
• we write it off as something that cannot be taken seriously
• its often not logical or doesn’t make sense to outsiders
• but it may to us
• our intuition is a reminder that there is a voice inside us, an inner guidance
• and the more you check in with that voice, the clearer it will speak in your life
• It comes when you listen
• When you relax and enjoy the moment to moment experience of your life
• But it takes practice
• Because our intuition can be overshadowed by our mind chatter, our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves
• There is constant loop of thoughts going on all day long
• And only when you become quiet and still you will really become clear of these thoughts
• And how destructive and untrue some of them are
• When you become clearer on your thoughts you will notice the disconnect between who you are currently and who you want to be
• So yes, discovering your authentic self involves some clean-up work
• You have cluttered your mind so now its time to de-clutter and make room
• That means what?
• Well – letting go of false beliefs is one of the things that clutter our mind
• Letting go of stories that go around and around in our mind
• These stories we tell ourselves hold us back
  • Oh I am not good at this
  • Oh I cant do this
  • And so on
• Assumptions about other people clutter our mind
• Negative feelings such as anger and fear
• Let it all go
• Your mind needs to be clear so inspiration can flow through you to help guide your next step

THREE

• Authenticity means letting go of control – just a little bit

• We try to control when we don’t have confidence in ourselves
• I also think we control when know we are on the wrong track
• How so?
• We make things happen that naturally may not happen
• And knowing this, we put on the force
• In our mind they have to happen, so we can feel secure, and confident
• So we make them happen
• we make calls, we text, we try to influence and force and coerce
• What you think is right for you may not be right for you
• Stay in the moment
• Rather than controlling the future
• I agree that certain things in life need a little push here and there
• And you certainly always want to put forth your best effort
• But when you are just pushing and nobody else is pulling, then that’s a sign that this may not be the right direction to go
• When we are in control mode –
• Everything around us responds with Contraction, resistance, and unwillingness
• When we notice these signs in situations or people, its best to stop and let go
• The fact is that life will not always gives us exactly what we want and in the way we insist upon,
• and chasing it to make it so will not yield the results we expect from it no matter how much we manipulate it.
• What is “yours” is determined by how clear you are, how relaxed and how much at peace you feel
• Just Letting go feels easy already
• Have you noticed that?
• The simple example of writing emails in the heat of the moment illustrate it
• Our feelings of anger and rage may make the words flow across the keyboard,
• But are they really what we want to say?
• Is this just a momentary high that may not reflect our values and hide our true kind side?
• I write emails and texts that are much kinder, respectful and sincere when I wait a while to think about them
• Do the same with all important decision in life
• Take time to think and consider
• Take time to check in with your intuition and inner guidance
• Ask yourself – who am I and is this decision in line with ME?
• And then trust
• That is the hardest step for all of us who like to control a little here and there
• But only then the pieces will fall into place – through a divine mix of accurate timing, your participation and in perfect alignment with what should be
• To summarize:
• On the outside you are your authentic YOU through your character and your personality and your beauty
• While some people feel they have to change that as well to feel better, I don’t think it’s a requirement
• But it takes effort to align that wonderful YOU with your inner world
• Because so much gets in the way
  • Outside distractions
  • Endless opportunities to choose from
  • Our thoughts
  • Our stories

• So .. if you desire a more authentic life then ask yourself –
• What do I need to shift in order to become the person who lives that life?
• This shift will include
  • A Mindset of possibility
  • increased self-awareness and tapping into your intuition more often
  • And letting go of control and trusting more

“Who are we without our addictions; without our media-induced hungers? So often the voices we hear echoing in our mind are not our own but that of our influencers. Isolation, while arguably going against human nature, is essential for mental and emotional health. Solitude is a detoxification of all that distorts our personality and misguides our path in life. It allows us to filter out the foreign opinions and hear our own voice—reach our authentic character—and practice fidelity to self.”
― L.M. Browning, Seasons of Contemplation: A Book of Midnight Meditations