Episode 46 – What is your routine?

• I have suggested the need for a solid routine in many of my previous episodes, usually as it related to establishing a habit, or accomplishing your goals, or learning a new skill
• But today I want to take the topic of routines head on
• I have found that a routine is the single most effective way to get stuff done
• Think about it
  • How do you ensure you brush your teeth every day?
  • You know it needs to get done, so I am sure you have a set time when you brush your teeth
  • And with time I don’t mean clock time, but brushing teeth usually follows or precedes something
  • Before you go to bed at night, and after your shower in the morning?
  • Something like this correct?
  • As a child you needed lots of reminders to brush your teeth
  • But its probably the single most hammered-in regimen that we all have in common
  • Today we don’t need a reminder
• What about your routine of getting ready for and going to work?
  • That’s a ritual I would guess is the same every morning
  • Get up, make coffee?
  • Grooming and make-up?
  • I am sure you have it all down and its pretty much the same thing every morning
• There are some interesting characteristics inherent in a routine
• First – lets define the term routine:
• a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.
• Like the examples we just talked about
• Or
• a set sequence in a performance such as a dance or comedy act.

• What fascinates me most about a routine is that once you have it down, it becomes almost automatic,
• You don’t even think about it anymore
• Not doing it, or changing it, feel weird, abnormal
• This is the case especially for the things you do daily, or several times a day
• You noticed that the definition didn’t include the number of times the pattern has to be performed to be a considered a routine
• I find, that with things I do daily, they become more of a ritual than activities I don’t do daily
• For example
  • I swim 2x per week
  • Sometimes those days shift a little
  • Or sometimes I skip a day
  • And while I miss my swimming, its not like forgetting to brush teeth or deodorant
  • I can barely function when that happens, I think about it all day, I may even stop at a drugstore on the way to work to buy deodorant
  • But I can miss swimming and be ok
• There is some speculation on how many times you need to repeat something in order for it to become a routine
• I heard 66 days, I heard 21 days
• Honestly I think it really depends on the action you are trying to make a routine and how drastic of a change it is
• For some people it takes years to adopt a regular habit of exercising
• For others they start once and never quit
• It depends on who you are and what comes easy to you
• It depends on your strengths
• It also has to do with your inherent passions and abilities
• A person who has always been a creative type may not struggle starting an art class

• Unfortunately, its not only hard to establish a routine, its also extremely looked down upon
• Routines are not in these days
• The term routine is associated with lack of freedom, strictness, inflexibility,
• People around you may consider you boring and rigid when you have to leave the party early to do your thing, or when you cant eat what everyone else eats
• I know I have judged people like this many times in my life
• When I thought freedom and spontaneity was cool
• Having just freed myself of the chains of childhood, where I had to march to drum of my parents rules
• Another routine is the last thing any young adult wants
• The new-found independency begs to be discovered – late nights, crazy schedules, doing whatever feels right at the moment, going with the flow, no rules, no schedules, just – whatever
• Experimentation – how far can I take my body and my mind and still get by with my duties

• That works for a while
• Mostly only in college since not much is asked of us on a daily basis,
• Other than a test here and there and a project
• But as we get older we discover that complete autonomy hinders us in our success
• We may lose a job because we cant make it to work on time
• Or we get into arguments with our loved ones for not contributing our share to the duties of the household
• So, often we are forced into routines
• In order to perform well at our jobs and ascend the career ladder, we have to find some form of normality in our schedules, such as good sleep, relaxation, decent nutrition, organization and prioritization
• Add a family into the mix, and we are forced even more into schedules and patterns because now we have responsibility for other people in our life

• And this is where many people are
• Routines are forced upon them by the rigor of their daily lives
• All the responsibilities that call on us every day seem to leave little room for freedom
• And when we have some free time, we often blank out completely because we are tired and exhausted
• But what about the things we WANT to do, we have been dreaming of, or that spark our interests
• How do we fit them in?
• Well – I discussed a few strategies for making time on previous episodes
• But the boldest step you can take is to establish a routine
• And yes, that means applying the same drill to this activity of your choice as you do with brushing teeth and showing up to work or walking your dog
• And the more frequently you do it the easier it will become
• Eventually it will be automatic
• I wont get into details on how to find that time in your day to make room – if you are interested then re-listen to Episode 29
• But I will give you an example:
• I have been working on getting up early every morning
• My goal is 4am. I used to get up at 6 and get ready for work and leave.
• Then I decided to do some yoga before starting my day, so I started getting up at 5.30.
• I found that 30min was not enough time. Often after yoga I wanted to sit in stillness for a few extra minutes but never could manage to find the time
• out of a balancing and calming practice I went right back into my previous routine of getting ready and rushing to work
• That defeated the purpose for because the reason I started getting up earlier to in the first place was to have some quiet time and ease into the day
• So I started to set my alarm for 5am because I decided I needed a full extra hour
• For yoga, some meditation and even some writing or reading time
• But it was a struggle. The alarm would go off at 5 but I didn’t set my foot on the ground until 5.10 or 5.15
• I needed to drink some water and get ready for yoga, and by the time I was on the mat it was again almost 5.30
• I tried 4.30 without much success until I got so frustrated with myself that now my alarm goes off at 4am.
• And its still a struggle
• It’s a struggle to get to bed early, and to get up early
• For a while I was inclined to give in to my mind telling me that I am just not made up for getting up that early, that my circadian clock is set for 5 and that’s it. My mind wanted to convince me that I Have to accept that
• Until I realized – that’s just my mind talking
• My body can adapt to anything, it may just take some time
• And this is where I come back to what I said earlier
• There is not a set number of days it takes to engrain a new routine
• It takes tame
• Think of your diet
• You can eat well and on point with a specific program for 90 days
• But then you fly to France and eat croissants and pastries for 2 weeks and you may take another year before you get back to your original healthy diet
• IT TAKES TIME
• The harder something is for you, the more frequently you should do it
• I have found that when I allowed myself some extra time to sleep on the weekends, then I started back from ZERO on Monday mornings
• So now my alarm goes off at 4am every day. Even on weekends.
• Am I out of bed and on the mat every by that time?
• No – I am still working on it.
• But slowly my body is adjusting
• I can tell I am ready to get up at 4.30 – it took months where I was in really deep sleep at that time – I felt like I had just gone to bed
• Now I am up by 4.30am – giving me enough time for yoga and meditation
• But I want that that extra half an hour for some writing time and eventually I will get there
• But it takes time
• For you it may be that language you want to learn, or the website or blog you want to start, or the run you want to do in the mornings
• Whatever it may be
• If you find hard to be consistent with it – make it a daily thing
• Develop a routine around it
• Set time aside and do your thing during that time every day
• And if you don’t need to do it every day, then do something else with that time
• Its more important to set the time aside than to do your thing
• Because finding the time and is the tougher of the 2 hurdles
• So solve the time problem first
• I don’t do yoga every day
• Some evenings when I did a really tough workout in the gym, my body may be sore and I don’t feel like yoga,
• But I still get up
• Maybe I go straight to writing when I feel inspired
• Or I meditate longer
• Or I just make some tea and read
• The important thing for me is to have the time for me
• Once I overcome the battle with my mind on time – I then feel free enough to accomplish what I want
• When you design and adhere to a routine – You will find what I found:
• Instead of rigor and inflexibility you will discover freedom, increased productivity, and a path to fulfilling our true potential.

• a routine will give you the following:
  • Results
    • Things will get done. Things you have to do and things you want to do. Thinking your way to your goals is what you do around new years eve. But actually accomplishing your goals is what you when you establish a routine around them. It removes willpower and motivation from the equation.
  • More time
    • Instead of being a victim to NO TIME, you conquer time. You will find more time in your day because the things that need to get done get done. Suddenly there is more time in your day because you think less and do more. You are more organized and have a clear vision on your priorities.
    • Getting up so early on weekends is so rewarding. I get to the farmers market when they just open, and I have all my groceries for the week done by the time most people roll out of bed. And then I still have the entire day ahead of me to enjoy. It feels amazing.
  • A better you
    • Establishing a routine is often hard. You saw my example. Yours may even be harder. Conquering your mind that tells you to stay in bed or have another drink is tough – no doubt. Remember your mind will always look for the easy way out. It doesn’t want to be stressed out or forced out of its comfort zone.
    • That is why you have to build the routine, the habit, the procedure. So that there is no way out. So that there isn’t any room for excuses. The routine is your crutch. Its your toothbrush next to the sink. It’s the gymbag that is ready next to your bed. The routing will carry you when you cannot carry yourself.
    • In doing so, you will become a stronger human being. You will find yourself saying no more often, but that’s a good thing. It builds a strong character, good habits, resistance to adversity, and you master things other people only dream of. And in doing so – you set an example of whats possible to them.

• Design a routine around your dreams.
• Make the time and go for it.
• Initially it will be hard, and you will give up and start over and over, but it its so rewarding once you got it down.
• Your friends will ask you – how did you do that?
• How did you lose all this weight, when did you write this book, how did you get so good at …. Fill in the blanks?
• Your answer – I worked on it every single day
• It wasn’t hard at all until I committed to doing every day.
• So many people don’t work on anything every single day except the duties they have to do
• The rest of their time they are in some unconscious fog where the brain is turned off
• Imagine the possibilities of getting something done that you have been dreaming of?
• Think about it
• Imagine it
• And now – go for it
• The best way to get it done is start and design your day around it.