Sometimes life is all darkness.

We don’t know how we can go on.

We are unable to see past this. Its all-consuming. It appears that the worst has happened.

• We lose our job right in the middle of a difficult financial time.
• An important relationship is coming to an end and we are heart-broken.
• We are forced to move in a time when rents are high and housing in short supply.
• We received bad grades, a poor performance evaluation, or other negative news.
• We are diagnosed with a major illness.

Our heart is heavy. Our mind is clouded. We cannot think of anything else.

People around us try to cheer us up. But all the words they say are meaningless. They don’t reach us. They are meant well but they don’t offer any real help. We want to reverse time. We want to travel back and say something different, or take another route.

I have often thought that these circumstances only happen to me. But today I know that they happen to everyone. These and many other events are threatening our aliveness, take away our happiness, our energy to go on. We give up. Momentarily. Although I know people that gave up entirely. We let the event define our life. Our next steps. Who we are changes. We draw conclusions about life. About our worth. Our destiny. We try to sort it all out in our head and often come out more confused, scarred, broken.

But what if we could accept what is happening as part of this life? We give it the room its asking for. We don’t analyze it. It is what it is – and we grieve, we cry, we turn inward and we reflect. But not in an absolute kind of way. We don’t allow for it to take over. Only for some time. A limited amount each day. And we find one thing that gives us joy. And we do that thing also, every day. Maybe a gift we have, a hobby we love, an activity that lightens our load.

• We continue with our exercise routine
• We make art
• We go for a walk with our dogs
• We reconnect with old friends
• We buy flowers and place them visibility in our home
• We read a good book or listen to music we love

We cannot change the negative event. We cannot ignore it or make it somehow feel like it was meant to be. We can try to tell ourselves that it was for the best but in the moment, that is difficult to acknowledge. And we don’t know what’s next. Thinking positive is so hard in times of darkness.

But life is still here. Our precious life. Our heart continues to beat. The sun rises and sets. The days go on. And we have so much still ahead of us. When darkness takes over, we let it be. But we also let light in. Doing is often easier than we think. Doing something we enjoy may feel like a distraction but its much more. Its hope. Its saying to life: thank you. I am broken, but I am still here, moving on, moving forward.

So – go on and cry at night about the pain you feel. But when you wake up, go for a slow walk or do some yoga stretches. Its momentary peace. In the long run, this small glimmer of joy is a continuum. It propels us forward. With one foot still in this life, we move slow at first, but soon faster, leaving behind the aches. Yes – spend your day searching for a job. You need to. But take an hour each night and enjoy yourself. Attend to your illness. See your therapist. Visit your friend’s grave. But also DO something else that brings you light, and hope and, ultimately change.

Do the things that bring you joy. Every day. They are the answer to turning darkness into light.

Remember – everything you need is right inside, within you. Seek it, and listen to it.

Much love – Janine