I had coffee with a stranger today. I am proud of myself. One of my priorities this year is to network more. Networking is the socially acceptable term for the simple act of getting out and meeting people. It’s something you do when you realize one or more of the following:

• You don’t have anyone you can call to talk about a challenging situation at work
• You drive by a ton of businesses every day, some of them well recognized, yet you don’t know anyone who works there
• When you get your coffee on the run in the morning, there are people sitting together passionately discussing business/work topics
• When you hang out with your friends, you find yourself unable to go into detail about your job because they cannot relate to your work
• Your social network is small. Maybe you have only a few friends close-by and you want to meet more.

I don’t know about you but I am very selfish. For most of my life, I didn’t have patience for talking to people I didn’t know. It didn’t fall into the productive category. The result of this impatience and self-centered approach is the almost complete absence of a social network. I have a few close friends, and a few lose acquaintances. But not quite enough. And while I am not looking to amass a huge group of people in my life, I would like a few more.

Today, after spending 2 hours with a stranger, I realized a few things about networking with new people.

• Perspective. Its refreshing to learn about someone else. The things they have done in their life. The comments they make when you share something about yourself – stuff you never considered, and that none of your existing friends would tell you. In one simple word – its interesting.
• Commonalties. This happens almost every time I meet someone new. There is at least one thing that you have in common with the other person, no matter how unique it is. The person I met today was also fromGermany. The great part about the things you share – they help ease the conversation. And, if significant enough, can lead to a long-lasting connection.
• Practice. Socializing doesn’t come easy to me and other introverts. And if you don’t work in a job where you constantly meet new people, connecting with others beyond the casual Hello and How are you can make this skill get rusty over time. It’s a good challenge to sit across someone new and navigate through the conversation: balancing listening and talking, questioning and sharing, and managing the proper facial expressions and postures. Honing your interpersonal skills comes in handy in the future.
• Focus. It really is ok not to always just focus on yourself, no matter how important, busy, hurt, or otherwise preoccupied you are. You have a million reasons not to make time for someone new but when you do, you realize their world is just as big as yours. It takes your focus off your own world for a little while. It’s a break in the continuous loop of getting stuff done. And we all need a break sometimes.

My schedule is busier than ever before. Especially with Quest For You, I have more to do than I have time for. But now is also the time to make connections with fellow human beings. I have neglected it all my life and today I miss having a wider network of people from different backgrounds around me. There is something very special and unique when you face another person, especially in a world that has become so electronic and impersonal.

And on the way out of the cafe, she said to me “Good luck on your quest.” I kept thinking about this sentence on my way home and decided the write this blog post. She didn’t know about Quest For You, and quest isn’t a word used commonly in conversations. But our meeting was certainly part of my quest – my quest to become a less selfish and self-centered person, with a wider network of people that I won’t call strangers.

While I am not reading much else into it, I am nevertheless grateful for a new encounter and the lessons it taught me.

Wishing you small steps toward your quest today.

Much Love

Janine

“Meeting a stranger can be totally fleeting and meaningless, for example, unless you enter the individual’s world by finding out at least one thing that is meaningful to his or her life and exchange at least one genuine feeling. Tuning in to others is a circular flow: you send yourself out toward people; you receive them as they respond to you.”

Deepak Chopra