This is Episode 6 of QFY and I want to start with a quote:
- “He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the world.” ~Marcus Aurelius
- Did you listen to yesterday’s episode on Focus?
- I want to explore this a little bit more and I have some not-so-good news for you today.
- Focusing – re-focusing on what matters, and what is important – This involves time.
- It wont happen while you are watching TV or browsing your various feeds
- It involves something that most of you may not want to hear:
- And I am not talking about going to the movies alone
- I am speaking about time alone to think, to breathe, to be with yourself without doing anything major and without getting distracted
- I am pretty sure all of us have at least one thing that we find relaxing, with or without people there
- For me its walking on the deserted beach
- I also like staring into a sunset
- It should be something that involves very little activity or distraction for your mind
- What sparks your creativity, where do you get the best ideas?
- When I used to run it was often during that time that I had my best insights
- Writing also helps me sort my thoughts.
- So maybe now you wonder why we need alone time
- Here is why:
- Most of the time we just GO GO GO
- Its always on from one thing to the next
- By the time we do get a rest, maybe during vacation once or twice a year, we are too exhausted to think creatively
- In fact, we just end up distracting ourselves even more because somehow we need to drown out the noise from our hectic lifes.
- So we party and drink or we run across new cities trying to see as much as possible
- And then we say things like “I need a vacation from my vacation”
- Rightly so – because we did not really take a break.
- Taking a break means time for reflection. To assess your course. Am I still on the right track? Do I need to tweak a few things? Or do I need to start completely over?
- You want to include time for reflection into your schedule regularly.
- And don’t set expectations on that time – its not a time to produce
- It may be a time for one or more of the following:
- To review the goals you set on January 1st. we always tend to make time for those somehow. But how often do we reflect on them to see how we are doing?
- To consider your priorities in life. Maybe you write them down, and rank them. And then you think about which aspects of your life need to be improved or eliminated to make more room for your priorities.
- To think about your relationships. Not over-thinking. Not coming up with tactics and strategies. Just looking at how the relationships in your life make you feel. Looking inside. Are they making you happy or are they causing distress. If there is distress, then explore it further. Defining some of your feelings around it
- Again, just examples.
- There is no set of rules around your alone time.
- In fact, I have found, that just by allowing myself that time, amazing ideas and inspiration came to me.
- Think of it as a vacation for your brain.
- It can give you renewed energy if you allow it to have a break once in a while
- If you are a busy bee like I am, I know that making room for alone time is going to be hard
- Why?
- Because it will require actually saying No to something else.
- Since our schedules are always filled, something needs to give
- If you are a social butterfly, then it means saying no to your friends once in a while
- It means having the confidence that you wont miss out on anything while you are not part of it
- It means understanding, truly understanding the importance of this time for yourself
- If you find it hard to make this time, plan it around a low-key activity you enjoy, the ones we mentioned earlier
- Plan a walk in nature alone.
- Get up 30min earlier and sit in your quiet house in a comfortable place with some tea
- Listen to music that you love
- I want to emphasize again – this time is a time for you. A break for your brain. A healing time. Recovery, renewal.
- Will this lead to new ideas and inspirations? Definitely.
- But let it happen naturally. If you end up working or producing during this time then great. It came out of inspiration.
- But don’t plan on it.
- Let it happen
- Finding quiet time, or alone time is step one.
- You have to make room for it first.
- We will later talk more about all the amazing benefits such time brings.
- I already alluded to the fact that you may experience new spurts of creativity
- Some alone time may also lead you to become more focused during the times you work, resulting in more efficient and possibly even better output
- Alone time is especially critical when we are healing from emotional pain.
- We cannot run or hide from it. We need to face it and allow it the space it needs.
- But for today I want to ask just this:
- Take your journal out, or wherever you take notes.
- Write down WHEN you will make some quiet time. Date and time.
- Then – reserve that time on your calendar
- Start with something you can manage easily. 10 – 15 minutes. No need to overshoot here.
- Find a timeslot that is easily attainable. Maybe it is right after one of these podcasts.
- I wish you the best with this. I wish that you see the value and enjoy this time with yourself.
- I cannot begin to tell you how much such time means to me and how many wonderful insights I have had.
- And to help you become inspired – I want to end with a beautiful poem by Rumi
- For me – Poetry is the art with words.
- I often find my own feelings reflected, expressed, and I somehow feel understood and less alone with them
- The beauty of poetry.
- Maybe you can relate to this poem as much as I do:
This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
source: Rumi (1207-1273) in: Barks, C. (1995). (trans. with J. Moyne). The essential Rumi. Edison, NJ: Castle Books, p. 109. image: sleepapneadisorder.info
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