Episode 11 – being present

• In previous podcasts I talked about our thoughts and our mind – and how they get caught up either in the past or in the future
• Today I want to bring us to the present and we will explore this much-neglected and undervalued state of being a bit more
• Be present – we are often told this when we don’t seem to pay attention
• And in a sense that is what presence is – being alert, paying attention, being awake
• I think we are truly present only a few minutes each day
  • Most likely when we have to pay attention to someone or something so we can understand it
• The presence I would like you to cultivate is a presence with yourself
• Paying attention to yourself in this present moment
• When you initially start practicing presence, its best to be still and without distraction
• But as you cultivate, you will find that you can be present in the midst of noise and commotion
• But it takes time
• So – you are probably wondering – why presence? What for? I have so much going on in my life I don’t have time for this
• That is exactly the reason
• Because we don’t take breaks anymore, not true breaks that involve relaxing our mind
• Our mind is constantly at work – planning for the future or rummaging around in the past
• We always thinking, and if we tire of thinking, we turn to mindless distraction which appears to give the mind a break but it is not
• The mind is still taxed with dealing with all the stuff you are feeding it through external stimulation such as tv, internet, video games, etc
• But the worst part about all this distraction is that we are in a deep state of unconsciousness
• we are numb and subdued and that is what we call relaxation
• because we only know 2 extremes –
  • past and future
  • action and inaction
  • reactivity and control
• its no wonder – our lives are highly complex and demanding
  • the comfort and convenience it offers on one hand, the more work seems to be required from us to enjoy it all
  • comfortable cars, homes and jobs require us to take up exercising. Add that to the day.
  • More devices that open up the world to us mean more time spent surfing the hundreds of options and opportunities and less time to make human contact
  • Endless possibilities for fun and diversion, including an inundation with food options leading to increased complications with health
  • We are bombarded with options every day and they makes life more complex
• I am old enough and from the old world – I can still compare to another time, a slower time
• Growing up I had nothing really to do once homework and chores were done
• I went into the woods and roamed around
• Today there is always something to do. So many – and I have to say – wonderful – options.
• I want to read more books than I have time left on this earth, for example

• Becoming present doesn’t mean to abolish western life and retreat to far-way mountains and mediate all day
• True presence involves coming into harmony with our life, and finding a way to balance it out
• Honestly look at your daily activities form the time you wake up until you go to bed
• How much of it is automated, like a robot, performing its functions
• How much do you just DO, without thinking about the task, without relishing each step, looking up and enjoying the view,
• That is why I said earlier that we are unconscious most of the time
• We are so caught up in what we call “living our life” that we become oblivious to life itself
• And this so-called living often involves problems, they develop over time
• We carry fears and insecurities, which manifest in a variety of ways
• In the process we lose ourselves, we lose touch with who we are, and what we truly want
• Our thirst for life and our confidence is replaced by unhappiness, detachment, and a feeling of not being enough
• Sadly, sometimes it takes a major life event that stops us in our hamster wheel and finally we have no choice than to reconsider everything
• life’s tragedies – they happen for everyone – While we often cannot avoid – we can prepare to handle them better
• And becoming more present will teach us just that

• So let me share with you what becoming presence can involve.
• I will use some very general, easy to understand descriptions for presence
• My wish is that some of them resonate with you and you can better understand their meaning for your life

• Presence means waking up
• You stop doing and you stop thinking
• And you start being
• This includes careful self-observation and self-inquiry
• Yes – that sounds uncomfortable, but believe me its worth it
• And this is not religious either. We are simply learning to take a break and tune into ourselves
• This starts with a deep listening and observing
• You notice your thoughts, emotions, body sensations, desires, attitudes,
• You are open and you don’t judge yourself
• You are simply attentive and curious
• Accepting of what is at this moment
• Without attaching your thoughts and feelings to anything
• Without setting any kind of expectations, or form any type of opinions
• Recognizing this moment,
• Welcoming it
• And appreciating it
• Because this moment is one that will never return
• Becoming present is being Mindful, conscious and awake
• You are aware of your inner and outer world and the flow of experiences

• Becoming present is not an end state like becoming an athlete
• It’s a journey
• It’s the cultivation of a more alert state of being
• The results come when you least expect them
• You slowly recognize that the ups and downs of life don’t affect you like they used to, throwing you up and down
• Now, everything is more like a smooth wave that you ride like an experienced surfer
• You may experience a sense of what I call homebase
• It’s a comfort with yourself, an awareness and a sense of being at ease in your own skin
• For me its that I expect less from the world around me and the people and instead look deeper within and what I bring to the world
• I enjoy small moments more regularly, not just when on vacation
• I am able to withstand dramatic events without first falling apart.

Rick Hanson Quote

As mindful presence increases, there is a growing sense of being as the container of your everyday life, which holds the doing and the having of daily activities. You are being being. Doing and having no longer contain little moments of being; instead, being is increasingly the ongoing space through which ripples of doing and having come and go.

• Practicing presence affects your brain in a positive way
• With a relaxed state of mind you are will notice a decrease in our vulnerability to stress and distress, improved health and performance, increased sense of happiness, and more confidence and courage

• Cultivating this presence takes commitment
• But the journey is rewarding.
• You will get to know yourself along the way
• You will notice areas that require work, possibly serious work
• And you will discover yourself, your passions and your dreams
• Suddenly you may feel more creative and inspired to end something old and start something new
• You may finally understand and makes sense of things you have been studying and wondering about

So today – think about presence, and begin to practice it.

• Throughout the day, bring your mindful, clear presence to everything you do and every person you interact with
• Make a goal to be more present with small activities such as walk with your dog, preparing and enjoying a meal or going to the farmers market. Rather than focusing on “getting it done” and thinking about whats next, savor the moment. Relish the activity itsel, the moment and everything it brings. Notice the sun and the wind, hear the birds, and even the construction noises, everything is part of your experience at the moment
• When your mind wanders or your attention fades, note the distraction as soon as you become aware of it, and then without blame or judgment simply refresh your mindful presence and return your attention to whatever you choose to attend to.

 Marcus Aurelius: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”