Episode 28 – Significance

Do you:

• Focus outward versus inward
• Taking from life or giving to life
• Believing life is predetermined and unchangeable or trusting that you can make whatever you wish out of life
• This will not only bring you greater success but also bring significance to your life
• Success without significance is not complete
• Success is all about you
• Significance is when you take your success to the world by adding meaning to other people’s lifes
• Making an impact to the lifes of others
• Only thinking about yourself and your own success is focusing inward
• You are acting from a place of fear – always worried about losing what you have, not making it tomorrow, worried about the next million you will make
• Thinking about others takes the focus off from your own fears
• You are now adding meaning to life in general
• I always believed that I have I have to make it first in life before I can give back
• This made me a taker
• I worried only about myself
• Making it through school, the college, getting my green card, getting a job, getting a raise and so on
• Always taking more from life
  • Never quite enough money in the bank to support a good cause
  • Never enough time to stop and help someone out
  • Never free of worries to smile and be kind to someone else
• Always in my own world
• And the results?
• Did I achieve what I wanted – sure did.
• That success is a deceiving little devil
• As you get more of it, its self-affirming
• You believe you are on the right track – that’s how you were able to accomplish everything you did
• But there are times when you wonder –
  • When you lose good friends because of your selfishness
  • When you piss people of because of your lack of tact
  • When your personal life doesn’t work out
  • When you feel lonely and isolated
• These are signs that success is not everything
• Money can own you
• Accomplishments can keep you hostage
• That little kick every time you climb a little higher, reach a little further
• But what is missing is significance

• And significance comes from your relationships
• The most important relationship is the relationship with yourself
• This podcast is all about that Quest for You – that connection with your inner self, the establishment of a strong inner core and an undefeatable mind
• And when you learn to be in harmony with yourself, you will also learn to be in harmony with others
• And you will discover that the relationships with yourself and with others add significance and meaning to your life
• You recognize that you are not the center of the universe with the people around you serving as decoration
• You notice that you are part of a whole
• Where everyone has a role
• And your role is to be part of other people’s life
• Without relationships life is devoid of joy and inspiration
• Think of the value some people add to your life
• The help they have offered you
• How they care about you
• Isn’t your life richer today because of the people in your life now or in years past?
• Relationships add significance to your life when you start giving instead of just taking
• How do you do that?
  • Start helping people
  • Start sharing your knowledge and wisdom
  • People that hold on to things are afraid – they live in constant fear
  • Let go of fear and live freely – share yourself
  • Offer yourself to the world
  • There is at least one person out there right now that can use your help, your encouragement , your kind words
  • People don’t want to be around you if you are closed off, inward focused
  • It sends the wrong message
  • Trust me I know
  • I learned this very hard lesson
  • Pay attention to people around you
  • Learn to fully engage with people
  • Stop waiting until someone approaches you
  • That’s laziness
  • You are bathing yourself in your ego
  • Reach out to others without worrying about the results
  • I always thought that strangers have no value to add to my life
  • Until I started randomly speaking to people next to me on airplanes – meeting the most interesting people that way
• So you wonder Where ?
  • Well Anywhere – like I did on planes
  • Your work, in school, at the coffee shop, in the grocery store, on the train, on the freeway
  • There are opportunities every day to let go a little of your ego and give a little to the world
  • People matter – you live amongst them
  • Start seeing yourself as part of a wider community or network
  • If you don’t have a network, find one
  • Its uncomfortable at first but it adds meaning to your life in the long run – we humans like to belong
  • How would you feel if you knew a kind word helped someone in a huge way? Most often we don’t know but trust that it does
  • Start with strangers if you are alone
  • Or call an old friend and say hello
  • And I am pretty sure we all have a person in our life with whom our relationship is a bit strained – because of a disagreement of some sort
  • So maybe forget about all the reasons you are angry for once and show compassion by reaching out first

• So start recognizing today that people are not here to harm you or compete with you
• Nor are they here to interfere with you
• I learned this the hard way

• Bring your light to the world and help
• Think long-term
• Right now you may not think you need anyone
• But you never know where life takes you
• You know how uncomfortable it is to have to ask people for help whose friendship you have not valued?
• But one day you may need to
• think even longer term than that – whose life do you want to impact one day?
• You don’t have to be a teacher or social worker to make a difference
• You can share what you have learned now
• By focusing on other people while you are on your success track, you will find that you are even more successful
• Its hard to see that when you are not in that place but believe me
• This was one of my biggest mistakes – to believe I can do it all alone and never need anyone and one day they world will look at me in awe
• That’s all crap
• Nobody will look up to you if you have not fostered meaningful and strong relationships along the way
• Nobody will know about you
• But if you take people along with you on your journey, they may look up to you one day when you are famous, or they may help you when you are broken
• They will bring meaning to your life when you feel lonely and empty
• And if you think you first have to be rich and accomplished before you can help others – think again
• A smile is free
• Spending an hour a week with a group of like-minded people doesn’t affect your success negatively but may affect your relationships in the long run
• It takes time but you have to make the investment
• How amazing is it to find that one person who becomes a life-long friend, or maybe even your partner?
• A relationship that strong takes time so you have to start now
• So – be humble
• Approach people
• Try to connect with others
• Find your tribe – the people that you can be open and honest with
• True personal growth is as much an inner journey as it is an outer one by relating to other human beings
• If you are afraid of others, if you live an inward life, separated from others, maybe you feel like a victim, helpless, if you struggle relating to other human beings and withdraw rather than approach – realize that you area sacrificing personal fulfillment, pleasure, love, and joy.
• You a missing a huge element of richness in your life
• Start by treating with everyone with honor, dignity and respect and soon you will find that people will appreciate you for who you are and begin to reach out to you

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People