Episode 48 – Pay attention to yourself

• I am starting out with a bold statement
• I strongly believe that our biggest problem in the world today is that we live in separation from ourselves
• Our true self
• This may sound a little to out there for you, but I want to devote this episode to explaining in more detail what I mean
• The results of not living in harmony with our true self are obvious in our lives, once we start looking
• So I encourage you – Take a look at the state of your health, your relationships, your finances and your accomplishments in life
• Everything can always be better – I know
• But really – how do you feel about your life, and the decisions you have made to this point?
• Does your life reflect your inner values?
  • Are you with a partner and have friends in life that encourage and motivate you and set an example for you for the person you want to become?
  • Are you in great health, living in balance with your body and your mind?
  • Are you safe and secure – have you set up a system for yourself that allows you to live well, meet your basic needs for food and shelter without having to worry about it every day?
  • Have you found ways to express yourself creatively, in your work or as a hobby? Do you have a sense of accomplishment for the things your have achieved thus far in your life?
• I don’t mean to make anyone listening feel bad. We all make our share of bad decisions in life.
• But I want to illustrate a simple concept:
• The more attention you pay to yourself, the more you connect with your inner world, the better your decisions will become
  • It doesn’t mean we will never mistakes
  • This also doesn’t mean we will avoid failure
• But you will begin to live in a place of harmony, of peace and of presence with life
• You see – we are closed off from ourselves
• We wander through life like it’s a big shopping mall – picking this and that, going through this aisle or that store, sometimes planned, often just wandering seeing what we can find
• And in the process we get lost
• We loose touch with ourselves
• The sheer amount of choices we have, the obstacles we encounter in life, the mistakes we make, everything shapes us along the road
• Some people are very lost – they sit on the same freeway exit every day begging for money for their next fix
• Some people are not lost at all – they are in deep connection with their inner life and live in beautiful harmony
• Most of us are somewhere in the middle
• We think we make the right choices,
• We use reasoning and we think hard
• We ask for advice
• But some things just don’t work out
• Some areas in our life cause pain, hurt, and make it hard for us to be excited about life
  • Maybe it’s the relationship we are in, the partner that is not meeting our needs
  • Or our work – we somehow cannot find the right job that fulfills and challenges us
  • There are Financial decisions that keep us in constant debt
  • Heath problems

• So what do we do?
• Many people run out and seek help
• Help is abundant these days
• And I am not discrediting anyone offering a service that promises results
• But you need to start with yourself
• Pay attention to yourself first
• You can then always go out and get support once you identified the issue in more detail
• Or you may not need any more help

So start with this:

First

• Take notice, become aware of the things that are not working out for you
  • Good signs are if you are searching for answers
  • If you are inclined to seek outside help
  • If you are not happy and joyful with certain aspects of your life
  • Ask yourself –
    • what is bugging me every day?
    • What just doesn’t give me the fun and joy I thought it would?
    • Again – start with the 4 areas I mentioned earlier: your close relationships, your career and professional life, your financial stability, and your health and fitness
    • These are the 4 main areas you should feel good about every single day

Then

• Discover what your needs are, and what you want from life
  • Start with the basics – Maslows hierarchy of needs is often used to illustrate the ranking of our needs
  • They start with ….

• Start from the bottom
• If you struggling to find money for food and are on the verge of being evicted, you need to start here
• Its very challenging to reach fulfillment of higher needs when you constantly have to worry about meeting your basic needs
• Next up – are you safe and feeling secure where you live,
• Do the people you live with give you a sense of safety?
• Analyze your needs according to this hierarchy – I find it very helpful
• Often we have accomplished a lot- successful businesses, money in the bank, dream vacations every year, but somewhere in between we messed up
• Or – we have a deeply loving relationship with our partner but we have lost track of our health, succumbed to bad eating habits, resulting in excessive weight gain
• You see – most of us seek the fulfillment of all these needs but we somehow think its not all attainable –
• Cant have everything in life right?
• Well – yes you can
• There are people who do and I strongly believe they did one that I am telling you today
• They pay attention to themselves

Lets bring the 2 points together:

• Our needs and the areas that need addressing:
• Do you live in a fulfilling relationship – does it meet your basic needs and some of your advanced needs?
• What about your job? – does it just pay the bills or does it also provide room for accomplishment and self-realization in the form of advancement?
• What about your finances – are they in order? Do they meet todays needs and future needs?
• What about your health?

Align your needs with your life

Which bring me to the third and last point

Discover underlying issues.

Dig deeper.

Repetitive problems in our life are sign something needs addressing.

Start paying attention more.

I keep saying it, most of us don’t really do it.

• begin to reconnect with yourself
• the person you truly are
• how do you that?
• You start paying attention
• You start listening to yourself
• The best way is to start becoming quiet and develop a connection with your inner world

Then ask yourself the hard questions:

• How do you feel physically?
• If you are sluggish, tired all the time, or sick a lot, get to the bottom of it
• In a recent episode I discussed our relationship with food
• It may help you
• If the relationships in your life are causing you distress, if you cannot focus at work because of the issues happening at home, dig deeper
• Take responsibly and address the areas in your life that call your attention
• And when I say addressing – I don’t mean to leave your relationships or have surgery
• I don’t mean to make a decision in this direction or that
• That’s the problem – that too often we focus on the decision we think we need to make
• Should I leave the relationship or should I stick it out?
• It’s the wrong question.
• I repeat it again
• Pay attention to yourself
• You first need to discover who you are and what is going on inside you
• Forget about the other person, the people at work, the decisions that are pending
• If you don’t face yourself first, then the decisions you make are irrelevant because most likely they will bring you the same results that you have gotten before
• Problems have a tendency to follow us
• We call it bad luck
• We title it destiny
• We think we have been singled out
• When, in fact, we just don’t pay attention to ourselves
• For real change to happen in your life, you need to start with yourself first
• The answers lie within
• The word mindful is overused
• Unfortunately
• I like the word observant
• Observe your thoughts, your words, your actions
• What do you think
• What do you say
• What do you do?
• Does it reflect who you truly are or have you taken on patterns unconsciously?
• Peel away and find out who you are and you will gain insight
• Start Paying attention to yourself