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Episode 406 – Why we need mental toughness

• Welcome my friends
• We have a fun topic today
• Actually – it’s a topic I never thought I would cover
• I didn’t really think there was such a thing as mental toughness
• Maybe I just called it discipline or willpower but I didn’t really discover what it means to be mentally tough until I started climbing
• There is a website called Metal Toughness Inc and they define it as
  • the ability to resist, manage and overcome doubts, worries, concerns and circumstances that prevent you from succeeding, or excelling at a task or towards an objective or a performance outcome that you set out to achieve.”
• Interestingly, “mental toughness” is a term that comes from Sport Psychology.
• the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology defines it as
  • “Having the natural or developed psychological edge that enables you to: generally, cope better than your opponents with the many demands (competition, training, lifestyle) that sport places on a performer; specifically, be more consistent and better than your opponents in remaining determined, focused, confident, and in control under pressure.”
• This definition comes from a paper by Jones, Hanton, & Connaughton, 2002, titled  “What Is This Thing Called Mental Toughness? An Investigation of Elite Sport Performers” Journal of Applied Sport Psychology
• I actually looked up the paper because I was highly interested
• I have faced many challenges in life but never thought of that mental toughness played a role in achieving them
• Until I started climbing
• Climbing was the first sport for me that was scary
  • Really scary
• Skiing comes close but with my feet always on the ground, I feel much safer on skis than on the side of a mountain
• Skiing can be more controlled than climbing
  • And worst case, you can always take those skis off and walk down
•  
• Climbing is all me
• Climbing involves my body and my mind
• A single move can seem physically impossible – but in the end its your mind that decides to make or not make the move
• And when you make it and succeed, its quite clear that the challenge you perceived as physical was really more a mental obstacle
• This is how I discovered mental toughness
• Repeatedly – reaching places on a route that seemed impossible to get through
  • Chimneys for example, have been some of the more challenging aspects for me last year
  • I was stuck in one for probably 30 min once
  • I tried every move I could think off
  • I was so scared to come out of the chimney and when I finally did, after I tried to scooch my way up on the inside without making any progress, I breezed through it
  • The fear of coming out of the chimney held me back
  • I couldn’t find a good hold and thought it was to early to come out

• Every time I climb, I am faced with serious mental challenges
• Sure- there are mountains I cannot climb because I am simply not as advanced
• But every mountain that is my grade, the grade I am proficient in, has challenging portions where my mind tells me – no Janine – there is no way
• Just standing at the base and looking up is intimidating
• And then I do it
• Not always smoothly
• Not always with the proper moves
• But I get up without falling
•  
• That is when I realized that mental toughness is a skill, a skill that can be learned
• Because every time I climb hard stuff, my mind plays fewer tricks on me the next time I face hard stuff
• My tolerance for discomfort widens
• Not that I am ever not scared – no – I am always scared
• But I notice within myself more confidence to undertake the obstacle ahead of me
  • Fewer voices in my head
  • Less sweat on my hands
  • And less energy wasted on worries and doubts and more available for the exertion
• Here is my definition of mental toughness:
• Mental toughness is the result when fear is replaced by confidence
• And confidence comes from experience
• You have to do the work
• Over and over again
• And it’s a skill that is not just needed for sports and competitions
• It’s a skill we need in everyday life
• Athletes also have regular lives that interfere with their sport, just like our lives interfere with our non-performance related objectives
• We all need to train mental toughness so we can reach the goals in life we currently think we can’t
• How often are we faced with possibilities we don’t explore because we think we don’t have it in us?
  • We don’t have the time the money or the skills required
• How often do we say No, lets turn around, lets not go, I’ll try another time, not today
•  
• We don’t notice that we are giving up because our life doesn’t depend on them
• When I hang on a mountain – I don’t have many options
  • Going down is not one of them – I somehow need to follow my leader or be hauled up which is not fun for the person who has to do it
• In our daily lifes – We can always stay where we are – safe and certain – and nothing happens
• Not so much in sport – where a medal or a new record could be at risk
• Daily life rarely dangles carrots in the form of rewards and recognition
• Heck – when I climb, there isn’t even anyone there to watch
• Its just me
• Yet its my happiness that matters most and that I feel when I reach the summit
• I doesn’t require an audience
• Sometimes I fall into the trap and seek feedback from my leader
  • We all want to hear some positive feedback from time to time
• And he usually answers with a question – How do you think you did?
• It doesn’t matter what he thinks
• What matters is how I feel I did
• And the better I do, the harder the routes I am able to climb
• And that is satisfaction to me
• That’s my personal and inner recognition
• It’s the same feeling I get when I see my body change in the mirror after weeks of strict dieting and exercising
  • Which require mental toughness just the same
• It’s the same happiness that I have when I wrote and recorded all my weeks worth of podcast episodes ahead of schedule
  • It gives me the confidence that I CAN manage multiple projects and still get done what is important to me
• Remember my challenge to avoid all snacks in the office?
  • it has been weeks since I opened one of those snack jar
  • doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about them, some days more than others
  • but with every day I am able to resist those snacks more and more
  • Sometimes I don’t even remember them anymore
• Mental toughness is needed for the areas in our life that are a challenge for us
  • Whether that’s a physical challenge or any other goal we want to achieve
• So – you might wonder
• How can it be trained?
• how can we see the unique opportunities more clearly and go for them, instead of backing out?
• How can we be more comfortable with discomfort and some risk?
•  
• I found an article where the author interviewed Arnold Ilgner who wrote the book “The Rock Warrior’s Way: Mental Training For Climbers.”
• He proposes four tips for training mental toughness that I thought are highly applicable for every challenge in life

1) Make learning your goal, not achievement.

• Today at my TM meeting we had a speech contest
• I didn’t compete but a newer speaker who sat next to me
• I noticed how he was really nervous and I told him to not look at it as winning or failing but as leaning something
• And as soon as he finished his speech and sat down he told me – I learned a lot today
• Sure – we all want to win
• But often, after we win, we don’t reflect on what we learned
• That usually happens only when we fail
• The more we look at our endeavors as learning experiences, and less as pass/fail, the more likely we are to undertake them
• And remember – we only gain confidence when we built up our strength through repeats – and the frequent failure

2) Ilger said – Free yourself of wishing behavior.

• When I climbing, I often wish I had my techniques down better
• I also wish I had more time to climb so I could be more advanced already
• In daily life I wish for better circumstances, more time and better timing, and more money
• We always wish for more but by doing so we only talk ourselves out of the task at hand which can be tackled with what we have
• Mental toughness is built moment to moment
  • My next move on the rock – what will it be – I need to think it through
  • My next meal – what time will I have it and can I last without snacking in between
  • Tomorrow – what will my day look like and how will I make the best of it
• Don’t wish for more – but do more with what you have

3) In the midst of doubt, come back to what you know.

• This is great advice
• Its basically coming to the present
• A re-assessment when things get difficult
  • What do I know?
  • What can I do with what I have?
• On the mountain this happens quite a bit
• I hit a place where I simply don’t know how to move past it and that is when nervousness and stress can take over
• I then try to calm myself and assess the situation, asking myself – what can I do?
• Maybe there are easier ways, but if they don’t occur to me at the moment, I make the moves that do come to mind
• You can do this in any situation that turns on you unexpectedly
• Over Christmas – my finances got a little out of hand
  • To much hit at once – Christmas gifts, car repairs, other purchases – I didn’t watch it closely and almost lost my mind when I saw my CC bill
  • But I quickly shifted into action mode
  • I asked myself – what can I control?
  • I immediately curtailed my spending
  • I unsubscribed or froze a few memberships
  • I changed a few plan
  • Done
• We have more control than we think, especially if we don’t panic and focus on what we know
• And lastly

4) Get out there and try hard.

• I said it earlier – you have to do the work
• You have to try – repeatedly
• Start with the easy stuff
• You want to become a better speaker?
  • Attend toastmasters and get up on stage
• You want to climb a mountain one day?
  • Start with a tiny one in your neighborhood
  • That’s how I started
• Mental toughness is not built on the couch watching Netflix
• Its built on the battlefield by continually going out there and facing your fears

• I haven’t climbed outside since November so I am quite interested to see how my first climb this year will go
• I expect I will be extra nervous but hopefully my skills haven’t left me completely and my confidence will return quickly

• Much love my friends and work your mental toughness