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Episode 462 – Guard your thoughts over your things

• Its interesting how the topics of my episodes sometimes seem to cross over from episodes to another within a week
• This is hardly ever intended
• It happens
• Maybe because the more I think about a topic, the more I want to explore it
• This week is just a strange week – a week of cars
• My previous episode was about my attempted car purchase
• This week – Both my climbing partner and I are having car issues so we actually had a rent a car for our Yosemite trip
• But something else happened the other morning
• Then there was a another car related incident just today
• Someone broke into the parking garage in the building I live in
• I hadn’t looked my car because one of the issue it has is that the alarm sometimes goes off – randomly
• They took a few things from my car
• Nothing major
• Not the first time my car was broken into
• But it still hurts
• It hurts because someone invaded your space and touched your things
  • Your personal things
  • Things that you have a relationship with
  • And not they have either touched or moved or taken by a stranger who did not ask for permission
• I will say it bluntly – it sucks
• And while I can get over the material loss – I find it much harder to get over the emotional violation
• And as they day went on, I kept thinking about the incident
• And my thoughts became increasingly darker
  • Maybe Oakland is not such a good place for me to live in after all
  • Maybe my friends were right – I should move somewhere safer
  • And why does this happen now, when I am struggling financially
  • And so on
  • By the end of the day I was miserable
• And that is when I realized:
• I need to worry less about my things and concern myself more with my thoughts
• The couple of nice stainless steel water bottles were gone in an instant
• But nothing else happened
• My car was opened – my car – yes
• But its still there
• And even if it had been taken – ultimately the outcome of everything else depends on me
• I decide – does it end with the incident or does it end with my negative thoughts about the incident
  • Which leave me feeling hopeless, depressed, and overall negative
• So I decided to stop the interpretation podcast from playing in my mind
• And almost instantly I felt better
• I realized, like I often do after such thought escapades:
• I need to watch my thoughts more than my things
• Things are things
• Material things
• And just because we bought them, own them, treat them well, and love them – we cann never really own them
• For we just don’t know what happens
• I can go to work in the morning and the building I live in could burn down while I am away
• And I come home to nothing
• It happens every day all over this world
• People constantly loose their cherished possessions
  • There are wars, fires, other natural disasters
• The worries about our things are a waste of energy
• This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat our possessions well and take care of them
• But we need to realize that they can be gone in an instant
• And as such – attaching to them doesn’t make sense
• The more attached we are, the more difficult it will be to manage our thoughts
• And those ultimately control how we feel and what we do
• Just as the famous quote from Lao Tzu states >>
• My thoughts have ruined many days,
  • Days I wish I could have back
• My thoughts have influenced the words I have used with others
  • Words I later regretted
• My thoughts have affected my actions
  • Actions I am not proud of when I look back
• Attachments to things are emotional relationships similar to those we have with other humans and animals
• But the material thing is not alive
• It doesn’t have a relationship with us
• So why become vested with it?
• I have increasingly tried to detach myself from my material possessions
• This is certainly easier for me as I don’t own a house anymore
• My only major possession is my car and its critical for me
• It takes me to the places that help me earn living and the places that make me happy
• Without a car, I would be miserable
• So detaching doesn’t mean I don’t value my car
• It just means that I don’t pour my life into it anymore by worrying over it
  • Damages can be fixed
  • Stolen items, including the car, can be replaced
  • That is why we pay for Insurance
• It’s a material thing that can, if needed be replaced
• A human or an animal cannot be replaced in its exact same way
• our thoughts are more important than our things
• because our things only facilitate our life
• without them, yes, we might be slightly uncomfortable, but we will live on
• our thoughts however, if not managed well, can ruin days, weeks, relationships, our character, our future
• our thoughts, if not reigned in, can create havoc
  • they make more out of a situation than there is
  • they usually turn things from bad to worse
  • and they leave us depleted, uncreative, and defeated
• guard your thoughts
• Every adverse event will trigger thoughts
• Usually we analyze first – what do I do now
• But we then often go quickly into complaining mode, or self-pity
  • Why me, why this, why today
• Give your thoughts room to analyze the situation
• But when you feel pulled down, catch yourself and refuse to go there
• Focus on the problem solving aspect of the situation
• Focus on accepting that what has happened has happened
  • WHY doesn’t matter so much anymore
• Look forward
• You may not be able to move forward right away
• That’s ok’
• But don’t move backwards
  • By regretting
  • By blaming
  • By beating yourself up
• Stay present with the situation
• When I finally relaxed and let go of worrying, my neighbor texted me
• Asked if I am ok
• Offered me a spare garage opener because mine was stolen
• Ahhh – I took a deep breath
• Life goes on
• Stay present and try to focus on what is next
  • One tiny step
  • For me – it was the garage opener
  • Ok – I have a way to get in tonight
• There is always AFTER even though the world feel like its on hold
• The minute after the incident is already after
• Tomorrow is after
• Start your after by thinking of the tiniest step forward you can take
• And when you guard your thoughts, then you will be in a stronger emotional position when your things do get taken
• You can practice detaching by imagining one of your dearest possessions being gone
  • Maybe your car
  • Maybe your house
  • Or your wonderfully comfortable bed
• Just imagine for a few day what life would be like without it
• What would you do?
• I sometimes look around my apartment and ask myself – what in here can I not live without?
  • The answer usually is – very little

• When we do this from time to time, we train our mind to be creative
• To think of different options
• And to detach
• Your thoughts decide everything my friends
• Watch over them
• They are part of you
• After you loose everything – you still have yourself
• Keep this in mind
• Don’t lose valuable time with negative thoughts
• They are only holding you back

Much love