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Episode 464 – Our addiction to being busy

• Welcome everyone – another episode of QFY
• I am excited you are here with me and I appreciate the time you are giving me
• This podcast is meant to make you think about yourself, something we don’t do enough
  • Its here to challenge you in areas you might be currently ignoring or afraid to even consider
  • Its here to give you some motivation from someone who is on the same journey
• I am not an expert
• But I think about life a lot
• I always want to improve and be better tomorrow than I was today
• Yet I realized, if I don’t consciously take steps every day to focus on that improvement, I get sucked in
• I get sucked into the grind
• The busyness
• The addiction we have to checking off
  • Our tasks and to-dos
  • Our responsibilities and all the stuff we call life
  • “that’s life” as we often say
• Partially we can blame the chemical dopamine for this addiction, which gets released every time we check off another thing from our list
• It feels got to get things done so we add more to the list
• We become highly productive, and successful along the way
• But we are busy doing
• And doing can keep us locked in and away from who we really are and who we could be
• When we never pause and ask
  • What else is there
• When we never take time to breathe and just be
• And dig inside to explore our full potential
• Then we miss out
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• I missed planning out my month of July as I always do
• I set goals for every month in the areas that are my yearly goals
  • Smaller projects that bring me forward
• But I missed July
• And now that I look back, 3 weeks into the month – I realize
• I got sucked into being busy
  • The regular stuff
  • Like trying to keep up with my podcast episodes
  • Climbing on weekends
  • Work
  • Then I had car issues
• And when you’re always busy, and not focused on your priorities, you get easily distracted
• I became distracted by Amazon, a new car I spent a lot of energy on, and other things such as climbing gear, clothes, food delivery and so on
• I was not focused
• I got my stuff done
• But I didn’t make progress in being a better me
• And because being our best is hard work, that is why I plan it
• I write specific objectives out,
• Then I schedule times on my calendar so them
• When they are front and center – in my mind and in my heart – they get done
• But this month they were not – and see what happened?
• I got busy – but I was a distracted busy person
• Busy with stuff
• But not with what matters most
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• Here is the thing –
• We are quite alone on this quest

• Society is not on our side
• Even if it seems like it is
  • With all the recent emphasis on health and mindfulness and love for one another
• Society really just wants us to be numb and distracted
• It wants us to consume, and buy and click and renew and subscribe
  • More products, more services, more food, more consumption
• Society sells us
  • drugs that keep us from feeling
  • Media that keeps us from thinking
  • Everyday conveniences that keep us from venturing out and solving problems on our own
• And without noticing, we get sucked in
• And we give away precious hours, entire days and when we add it up, maybe even years – to our phone, our television, mindless hours staring into cocktail glasses and beer bottles or thinking about the next move in a video game or contemplating the next big purchase
• We spend endless hours on all forms of entertainment – without noticing it
• We get sucked in because after all the doing doing doing, we need to chill
• We need to relax and let our mind rest
• I get that
• After a long day at work, I often sit in my car and just want to listen to music

• But – and here is the thing
• We can chill while we are doing
• Hard work, mentally challenging tasks and creative and mindful endeavors can keep us highly present and close to our purpose
  • Those are usually the dreams and goals we pursue
  • The challenges we undertake to try something new
  • And the risks we take on to explore a different route
• But this is hard stuff
• Doing is much easier
• We already do every day
• So lets do more
• I used to plan not only my weeks but also my weekends
  • I’d write down the times I would get up, clean my apartment, go to the grocery store and the gym
  • And when I checked it all off at the end of the day, I felt happy
• Well, not quite
• There was always that gnawing question in the back of my mind – is this it?
• Our to-dos keep us locked in mediocrity
• The same old routine little tasks
• It’s a rut that’s hard to get out when we don’t know any better
• This is why I created this podcast
• So you can find ways to access your quest for you and discover what brings you to you
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• when we don’t yet know what it is that fulfills is, we can start very simple
• By pausing the doing
• By turning off the distractions
• And by stopping the consumption
• and then by relying on our own mind and body to do the discovery

• My path away from mediocrity begins every time I dedicate time in the following 3 ways:

• Out in the wilderness
  • There is nothing that pulls my attention or that distracts me
  • Its only me – and nature
  • And the experience I have in nature is not manufactured for me
  • I create it
    • By hiking a path that looks interesting
    • By climbing a mountain that looks challenging
    • By watching a colorful bird or looking at the clouds
  • The wilderness welcomes us, and the rest is up to us
  • As you explore it, you will find your mind relaxing, focusing only on what is ahead of you
  • And you will come out of nature refreshed and with more clarity on what matters in your life
  • Because you just spent time with yourself
  • You moved your body
  • You used your mind to reflect on what you saw
  • And you filled your heart with fresh air and new experiences
• Next
• Quality time with good people
  • Thoughtful conversations
  • Exploration of important topics
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Social connection is critical for our well being and our happiness
  • Sadly, we don’t always have the right people around us
  • People that challenge us, make us think, people that care for us and pay attention to us
  • So we pull out our phones, even when in their presence – because we have nothing important to say to each other
  • I see it happen everywhere
  • We hang out – because it sounds cool
  • But we miss out on quality time with people that do what we wish to do one day
  • People that encourage and motivate us
  • People that help us be our best by sharing their wisdom and experiences
  • We need to find those people
  • And surround ourselves with them
  • Their thoughts and ideas will spark ideas in us
  • I’ll give you a quick example:
  • Tomorrow I am working from home
  • I will go to an early morning gym class and then I will go home
  • I haven’t worked from home in a while and as I thought about it today I remembered – it’s a good day to have coffee with a friend and catch up
  • Since I am gone most weekends, I rarely see my local friends anymore
  • I was about to send a message to one of my friends who had reached out to me for coffee last weekend when I was in the mountains
  • When I suddenly stopped myself
  • Wait – think again Janine
  • Do you really just want to do coffee and chat
  • Or do you need to do something a bit more focused and productive?
  • Something that pushes you a little further
  • And sure enough – I am behind on my speaking activities and realized I never met with one of my peers from my speaking program this week although we talked about it
  • So I texted her instead to see if she has a couple hours to spare and brainstorm ideas on next steps
  • Things I really need to be doing -that are on my goal list
  • Quality time with good and supportive people
  • Force yourself to seek these people out
  • You don’t have to ditch your other friends but when you have goals, they may need to wait a little sometimes
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  • And lastly
• Time with self
  • I cannot emphasize it enough
  • Time with yourself is critical so you can work on your interior and exterior
  • Fitness and time in nature to improve your physical health
  • Reflection, meditation, healthy nutrition to improve your inner health
  • Time with self is important
  • That’s the time you work on your mission
  • You create plans
  • You try new things
  • You challenge yourself
  • It’s the time in the gym, or over your journal or on your yoga mat – being with yourself
  • Taking care of yourself
  • Preparing a healthy meal for yourself
  • Reading a book
  • Writing a poem
  • Time with self, not with your phone, just with your thoughts, and your heart, will help you disconnect from that constant business and it will bring you back in touch with who you are

• Our addiction to busyness leaves us with our Potential unexpressed
• Instead of working on ourselves, trying to be our best, we are in a state of distraction and numbness
• And I know how hard it is to get out of that
• That’s why I set yearly goals
• That’s why I write down monthly objectives that push me closer towards those goals
• And that is why I write down daily activities in my agenda that support my overall plans
• If you find yourself in a hamster wheel of constant busyness, try to disconnect via one of the 3 avenues I suggested
  • Take a walk in nature
  • Connect with a friend or mentor who will challenge you
  • Or take out your journal and write down your thoughts
• And let me know how it works for you

Much love