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– Hi there
– How are you?
– I hope you are having a marvelous day
– I decided to make today another action Friday
– We had a good one last week with lots of actionable advice
– And before we plop into the weekend and then struggle to be motivated again on Monday – lets avoid that and do something this weekend that drives you forward
– Monday will feel better when you did something this weekend that makes you proud
– And my proudest moments are when I tried something new, took on a challenge, made progress on a project that was long overdue, and connected with myself more
– In fact, all my days are better when I do more of that every day
– So – this weekend – I want to encourage you to make yourself – not comfortable, as we like to do on weekends
o Sleep in
o Stay out late
o eat and drink way past our limit
o and just hang around
– but I encourage to make yourself UNcomofortable
– try something new
– do something different
– go against what you have always done
o instead of eating to much – maybe you fast for a day
o instead of sleeping in – maybe you get up earlier than even during the week and drive to a nearby beach or mountain to watch the sunset
o instead of binge-watching TV, what if you read a book
o instead of hanging out with the same people, what if you take some alone time
o or, the opposite, instead of being alone, like always – why not reach out to some people you haven’t seen in a while
– It may feel uncomfortable, but this will also make you feel more alive
–
– This doesn’t have to be an all day adventure or an extreme challenge where you head out for a 12 mile hike by yourself
– The opposite – it can be something small
– It can fit into your already existing plans
–
– When you listen to this episode I will have already presented my speech
– On Sunday I am giving my first keynote speech in front of a group of friends
– I am so excited, mostly because I am in awe about the number of people that are all showing up to support me
o There is little they get out of it – but they are coming to be there for me
o And I am so grateful for this
– The entire event is uncomfortable – its not like I give speeches every day
– But – to add to the discomfort, I added a videographer to film the whole thing
– I made the day slightly more uncomfortable
o Its nerve-wrecking enough to speak in front of people
o But its even harder to do so knowing there is a camera
– A couple of weekends ago my partner and I were climbing in Yosemite
– We had a late start because the party on our route was very slow
– when we summitted it was to late to attempt another climb
– So we walked around and admired the beautiful view of Tenaya lake and the surrounding hills
– There was a big mountain right in front of us, and we decided to scramble up for a little bit
o Sure, we were already tired
o But we also were already there – on top of a beautiful mountain range
o We could have descended and called it a day
o But we decided to keep going
– This curiosity to see what better view we can get turned into a 3 hour adventure with lots of steep hiking, mosquito attacks and the discovery of amazing waterfalls that we took advantage of to refresh ourselves
– Climbing that day was already decided on – comfort
– But hiking an extra 5 miles wasn’t in the plan – it was discomfort
–
– This is what I mean by adding on
– You probably already have your weekend plans made
– I am not asking you to make huge changes
– But try to add a new piece to it
– Our tendency is to go for what we know
– And soon all we do is the same thing over and over again
o And we don’t challenge ourselves
o We don’t add any new knowledge
o We don’t risk anything
o And we get set in our comfort zones
– We have to seek the discomfort on our own
– Every day we have to find ways to challenge ourselves
– Don’t wait for the conditions to be right
– For you to have all the pieces of information nicely lined up
– Just dive in and try
– I have a non-climbing weekend ahead that will definitely be challenged because of my speech
– But I am looking for other ways to challenge myself
– A new place to explore
– A physical challenge to undertake
– What will it be for you?
– The only way to gt out of our comfort zones is when we push ourselves
–
– I want to end this episode with a little excerpt from a book I love and have reviewed on this podcast before
–
– ― David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
–
– This piece talks about discomfort as a means to focus
– To strip away all the distractions that keep us so nicely wrapped tight, but that also hold us back from seeing what we need to see
– He recommends some extreme discomfort for a few weeks so we can see clearly
– It is your call
– I find, that just pushing myself a bit more every day in different areas of my life helps me
– But I would like for you to see that my ideas are not crazy
– Discomfort, practiced regularly, is, in my view, the way to a superior life
– Start with something small and see how it goes

– Here you go – David Deida –

“Austerity means to eliminate the comforts and cushions in your life that you have learned to snuggle into and lose wakefulness. Take away anything that dulls your edge. No newspapers or magazines. No TV. No candy, cookies, or sweets. No sex. No cuddling. No reading of anything at all while you eat or sit on the toilet. Reduce working time to a necessary minimum. No movies. No conversation that isn’t about truth, love, or the divine.

If you take on these disciplines for a few weeks, as well as any other disciplines that may particularly cut through your unique habits of dullness, then your life will be stripped of routine distraction. All that will be left is the edge you have been avoiding by means of your daily routine. You will have to face the basic discomfort and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life. You will be alive with the challenge of living your truth, rather than hiding form it.

Unadorned suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth. Only by staying intimate with your personal suffering can you feel through it to its source. By putting all your attention into work, TV, sex, and reading, your suffering remains unpenetrated, and the source remains hidden. Your life becomes structured entirely by your favorite means of sidestepping the suffering you rarely allow yourself to feel. And when you do touch the surface of your suffering, perhaps in the form of boredom, you quickly pick up a magazine or the remote control.

Instead, feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrate it, and realize its fearful foundation. Almost everything you do, you do because you are afraid to die. And yet dying is exactly what you are doing, from the moment you are born. Two hours of absorption in a good Super Bowl telecast may distract you temporarily, but the fact remains. You were born as a sacrifice. And you can either participate in the sacrifice, dissolving in the giving of your gift, or you can resist it, which is your suffering.

By eliminating the safety net of comforts in your life, you have the opportunity to free fall in this moment between birth and death, right through the hole of your fear, into the unthreatenable openness which is the source of your gifts. The superior man lives as this spontaneous sacrifice of love.”
― David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

Superior man, or superior women
What kind of safety can you eliminate temporarily from your life for a while?

Much love