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Episode 492 – Why are we so distracted? 

• I want to talk about the important topic of distractions today
• Not for the first time, but I want to cover it again because it is so important
• There is a common misperception out there, that I probably have bought in to a certain degree, that our modern world is to blame that we are more distracted than ever
• Does our modern world offer more opportunities to be distracted?
  • Yes to that
• But we are the ones that allow ourselves to be distracted
• So in my mind, the answer is not to blame our world
• The answer is to become smarter within our world
• Even if Facebook were to go out of Business tomorrow, IG, LinkedIn, and all the other apps we spend so much time on, we would not be any less distracted
  • We would just find something else to be distracted by
•  
• According to the American Psychology’s definition,
• Distraction is
• 1- the process of interrupting attention, and
• 2- a stimulus or task that draws attention away from the task of primary interest.
• In other words, distractions are outside stimuli that cause us to stop doing whatever we are currently doing or what we are planning on doing
• I see 2 main problems with distractions
• Yes there are more opportunities for distractions but that’s not the problem
• One issue is that we are often not aware that we are being distracted
  • The resulting action here is that we need to become aware to the distractions in our life
  • And I will go into that shortly
• And the second issue I see is that our level of distractibility is related to our level of ambition
  • I believe that the more we are driven to achieve something, the less likely we get distracted
  • Because we simply don’t allow it
  • I will get into this as well
• Both issues are related and I will give you some simple tools and strategies that help with each issue
•  
• Unless we have something we really need to get done, we are often not aware when we are distracted
• Yet we can learn to become aware
• Recall the definition
  • a stimulus or task that draws attention away from the task of primary interest.
• The TV doesn’t pull us away from our project unless we turn it on
• Amazon doesn’t pull us into a shopping spree unless we go to that website
• Distraction may knock all day long, yet we are the ones opening the door
• Back to our 2 problems:
• 1 – because we may not be aware we are opening the door and
• 2 – we are not ambitious enough to pursue the task of primary interest
•  
• We all have things we want to accomplish or do more off,
  • These may be projects at home or at work
  • Time with special people
  • Or we want to do something for ourselves
• I want to do more in all 3 of these areas and I am sure you do too
  • At home, I really want to go through my closet and clean out clothes I no longer want or need
  • I have a list of people I would love to see and spend time with, and
  • I really would like to learn French – for myself
• Can you come up with one thing you are itching to do at home or work, with others, and for yourself?
• Now
• Lets figure out what is holding us back from getting these things done
• The key question I have is this:
• How important is it to you?
• If its not important, then our level of ambition to go after it wont be high
• It has to matter
  • Spending more time with your kids
  • Cooking a healthy dinner instead of eating out every night
  • Getting into shape
  • Learning a new skill
• Lots of people have goals similar to these but unless these objectives become important, they wont get done
• My first tool will help you make it important
• Its easy:
• Make it a goal
• Pick one thing you want to get done and make it a goal
• Write it down
• Post it on Social media or tell your friends
• Firm it up somehow
• Commit to it just like accepting a job offer
•  
• Ok – now you have a primary task that needs to get done
• Now – you actually have something that allows you to notice distractions
  • Our first issue
• Because unless something matters, nothing matters
• Why do so many people get distracted at work – surfing the web, or chatting away with coworkers ?
• Most likely because their work doesn’t matter to them
• The tasks they are doing are not challenging enough, not interesting enough or whatever other reason there is
• Research has shown that engagement at work increases when people care
•  
• Your goal is written down
• Now – tool number 2
• It needs a deadline
• It needs some kind of date by when you want to have it accomplished
  • I work closely with a woman who is getting married in November
  • She shared this with me in the beginning of the year
  • We talk about it more frequently now because there isn’t much time left
  • And she shares with me all the tasks she still has to do
  • I asked her how she tracks everything and she said she has a big list at home on her fridge
• What do you think – will she get them done?
• I think she will
• We are talking about her wedding – of course she will get them done
• The wedding is her primary task – the one that truly matters
• It’s a goal and it has a deadline
• Life sometimes sets deadlines for us
  • Tax Day is a deadline
• Or we set our own deadlines because we have to
  • Maybe a test we want to take so we can become certified
  • Or a trip we are planning that requires certain preparation
  • A marathon or other sporting event that requires training
• However, outside of major events like these, many people don’t set goals with deadlines anymore
• But that also means – they live in a constant state of distraction
  • Endless hours of TV and social media
  • Flip-flopping from one task to another
  • Not accomplishing anything of importance
• When – as we have shown, we all have things we want to do more of
• But they need to be spelled out and memorialized
  • Maybe it starts with a sticky note on the fridge
  • Many people don’t even have that
• I work with another women whose sister is getting married next March
• At some point I noticed she wasn’t eating
• I didn’t see her eat BF or lunch – she was at her desk all day and I never saw her eat a thing
• After a couple of days I asked her and she said she needs to lose weight for the wedding
• I didn’t say anything but I have fasted before and fasting is not a weight loss strategy
• It has many other benefits and it can drop weight dramatically over a short period of time, but its not a long term strategy
• And sure enough – days later I saw her eating again – not healthy, randomly, and a lot
•  
• A goal with a deadline beckons for a strategy
• I will not go into strategies on this episode because we are talking about distractions
• I will however, give you my third tool that can help you build your own stragety
• And that is a calendar
• I know so many people that don’t use calendars outside of work
• They may have a to-do list
• But unless you plan out your days and weeks,
• Allocate time for your to-dos,
• The chance of hitting your goal Deadline is slim
  • Especially for major projects
• I talked in detail about my Moleskine calendar on previous episodes
• For a goal that matters – you need a calendar
  • Spending more time with your kids doesn’t sound like it should require a Calendar to get it done, but if its not happening now, most likely it will
  • A calendar allows you to block out time for your primary tasks
  •  
• a strategy is important, but first, you need to make time so you can execute your strategy
• a goal, with a deadline, planned out in a calendar now gives you a primary task
• something important that matters
• lets repeat this – most people don’t get this far
• And then they wonder why they cannot lose weight, manage to cook dinner, or accomplish any of their other goals
• The goal and the deadline create the container and the calendar facilitates the activities to reach the goal
• Now we have something to get done
• Its 5.30pm and we are ready to hit the kitchen to prepare our meal because that’s what we planned
  • We set 2 hours aside to do so
• But work was really tough today and getting up from the couch where we sat down to rest 30 minutes earlier isn’t so easy
• So we decide – dinner cooking probably wont take 2 hours, we can always eat later
• And we turn on the TV
• Just one episode of our favorite Netflix show
• Distraction
• And before we know it, we are eating cereal yet again for dinner because its to late to cook and we are hungry
• Distraction
• But this time, not randomly
• This time, it will plague us with guilt and a sense of failure because we specifically had a plan to do it and didn’t
• And now we may wonder why
• Why did we stay in front of the TV for hours?
• While our goals has not been accomplished, we have awareness
• And awareness leads to learning
• Without the goal and the time specifically set aside, we may never really question our distractions
• With questions begins the search for answers
• You will need to ask yourself the hard questions
  • Why is sitting on the couch watching Netflix more important than getting your goal done?
• Only when we ask can we discover
• But know this:
• Our behaviors are directed by triggers from our environment but also from our internal feelings
• Our emotional state affects our motivation
• Start digging for those emotions
  • Food or social Media is often used to pacify turbulent emotional states
• Start by noticing what distracts you and then figure out where its coming from
• Remember – something inside you triggers you to go the fridge or reach for the remote
• These are distractions – but you are allowing them in your life
• usually we go to a place of comfort because we are trying to avoid discomfort
• Find out what it is you are trying to avoid
• There is no need to blame the food or the devices or the video games
• Start with you
• Find out why you decided to stay on the couch instead of cooking the meal you purchased all the ingredients for
• Once you have identified he internal triggers, you can then control your environment
  • Remove the foods you are trying to avoid
  • Sign up in a gym that’s on the way home and have your clothes with you
  • Prep your meals on Sundays so the food is ready when you are to tired during the week to cook
  • Or look at meal deliveries
• There are endless hacks that are just as easy to implement as it is to fall prey to distractions
• Again – once you are aware of your distractions, you will begin to come up with creative ideas to avoid them
• I watched my climbing partner the other day when we sat in our favorite taco place after a long day of hard climbing
• He ordered the To-Go box with his food and started packing up half of his plate before even eating
• When I asked why he said he didn’t want to eat to much
• Smart Hack
• I can spend an entre episode going over hacks I have played with and use daily to control my distractions
• But these wont do any good if you are not even aware of what pulls you away
• The key to managing distractions is to become aware of them
• Another evening in bed surfing IG instead of reading a few pages in the book you can’t seem to finish?
• Yup – that’s me almost every night
• I am aware of the distraction – yet I cant seem to let it go
• So I have to do the work and find out what the need is
• Just thinking out loud here with you – I am probably tired so my willpower is low
• I want to read, but surfing is easier
• Comfort zone
• I could look for ways to make it harder to use my phone in bed and easier for me to reach for the book
• For example, I could leave the phone in another area of the room
• That would also help me get out of bed when the alarm goes off instead of hitting the snooze button
• Maybe I’ll try that tomorrow
•  
• What are you going to try tomorrow to start being less distracted and instead take consistent steps into the direction of your goals?
• Share your feedback with me
• I would love to share your ideas on this podcast so others can benefit from it

Ending

And don’t forget to share this episode with someone you love, admire or want to be closer to

It may help them in ways we all cannot even imagine

Much love