• Hi all
• Thanks for tuning into my podcast
• First of all, I promise – this is my last episode about my mom
• Second – I never thought I would record 3 episodes about her time with me
• If you have listened to the last 2, you know that this was a difficult visit for me
  • Mostly because I didn’t have much time for myself and I talk about that
• But somehow I cant stop reflecting on our time together and more thoughts come to mind that I find worthy of sharing with you
• In My previous two episodes I talked about the lessons I learned from her visit
• In this episode I want to express gratitude for my mom
• This is the least expected episode – for me
• You may have glimpsed from some of what I shared that my mom and I are not very close
• I grew up with my grandparents and only saw my mom on weekends
• And those visits were challenging
• Later, at age 10, when I moved in with her, we never got along
• And in our adult minds, we still see our parents the way they were when we were little
• I notice this because I don’t see my mom often, but when I do I am always in shock over the changes I observe, which are, sadly, mostly age related
• But some of them are also behavioral
• Some are strange, surprising, even in a positive way
• Others are quite shocking
• When I see how my mom now moves, very slowly due to problems with her knees, I am in disbelief
• She was always highly active, athletic even
• Maybe these changes are more drastic for me because I don’t see them over time
• I see them after some time has passed
• So they are always tough for me to observe
• I struggle with them
• With the fact that she is not the way I remember her anymore
• But I Noticed that I always only focus on what isn’t there anymore and what has gotten worse
• e. the negative
• but there are so many other changes that I don’t acknowledge
• there are facts about my mom, and my life I have never really acknowledged
• and today want to do so
• With the hope, that you are also inspired to reconsider some of the aspects of your close relatives
• Our fist reaction tends to be dissatisfaction when things aren’t the way we hope
• But in looking back on my mom and our time together, I realized I have a lot to be grateful for
• And this is how I want to start the year
• With the lessons I learned from spending my time with my mom instead of alone
• The lessons my mom taught me with her way of being
• And now
• With gratitude for her and my life
• Because I believe, when we come from a place of lack, of dissatisfaction, of not-good-enough, we have a tougher time reaching our goals
• We will be to critical and negative with ourselves and every small step forward will feel heavy and burdensome
  • The more I find myself complaining, the less I focus on moving forward
• But when we come from a place of gratitude and appreciation, we start off in the positive already
• We feel better about ourselves and everything we undertake comes easier
• That’s at least what I have noticed
• So I want to encourage you, with a little bit of my own gratitude to also find appreciation in your life
• The things we want to change, we have to first accept
• They may not be our desired circumstances, but they are part of our life at the moment
• Acknowledging them helps accepting them
• And from there, we move forward and towards change

• Over these last few days since my mom has left, and I find myself thinking of the huge distance between us, I have a deep sense of gratitude for being able to live in this time
• My mom had a much tougher life
• She was born right after the war and grew up in communism
• The possibilities to discover oneself were limited
• Many people did work much below their capabilities because that’s all there was
  • My moms knees are bad because she stood on concrete floor in a wet environment for 15 years
  • She worked under third world conditions and today her body shows the signs
• She complains often about her hair which she said she lost in huge junks during her pregnancy with me
• They didn’t prescribe prenatal vitamins during communism because those didn’t exist
• The nutrition also was limited
• I on the other hand live in a time where I can research any malady I may have and can find tons of options to address is
• She couldn’t leave her country to live in another one
• I was lucky
• The wall fell when I was still in high school
• Today I live a life she could never pursue
• I was so sad when she stood by the ocean and said she wished she was younger
• She said she would have done thing differently
• This made me realize how lucky I am
  • To be born into a world that allows for opportunity
  • To be of a race that isn’t discriminated against
• To have a positive baseline
• A starting point that allows me to do almost anything I want
• Take that into consideration next time you complain about things not being right
• Remember your starting point relative to others around you
• It can help shift things into perspective because we may notice that’s its not as unfortunate as it seems

• I also have to say
• While my mom is not the fittest anymore and cannot accompany me on long hikes, her character has changed
• She was often loud and boisterous, yelled at me when I was little, often in front of others
• I hated it
• She became very quiet
• I was very surprised at this change, which I have already observed a little last time we saw each other
• This time I was the one in the car yelling when traffic didn’t move or when there wasn’t a gas station when I needed one
• It was I who lost her temper, just like she used to with me
• But now she remains quiet and patient
• Not at all like her
• But this is who she is today
• And it made this visit much easier for me
• I am sure on the inside she stressed out, but she didn’t show it
• Its important that acknowledge when people change
• I know I put people into categories and when they step outside the mold I have created for them I don’t even notice it
• Notice it, and then express it to these people
• Tell them the changes you have seen
• I recently reconnected with a friend from the past and I am making a big effort not think of him what I thought in the past
• I am making space to see who he is today and this has already allowed me to notice a few positive changes

• And as much as my mom depended on me because of her lack of English, and as much as that bothered me at time because she wouldn’t leave my side, today I am grateful
• I am thankful for the opportunity
• I was forced to dedicate all my time to her and it was good for me
  • I planned all the trips and now know more about California’s beautiful places
  • I even made a list already of the places I want to return to for hiking and exploring
• I also was always very self conscious about my mom
• She isn’t educated and is very simple
• She dresses way below her age and also looks much younger
• Yet, on this trip I took her everywhere which included my friends
  • She was at my Christmas party which had over 25 people in attendance
  • My climbing partner came over a couple of times and the 3 of us watched TV together
  • My gym partner invited me for NY dinner so of course, she came along for that
  • After that we went to watch the fireworks in the Oakland hills where we met another friend of mine, who was there to photograph
• At first I was concerned how this would go
• She doesn’t like crowds, does not feel comfortable when she doesn’t understand everything and sometimes she just doesn’t like my friends
• But it worked all out
• Everyone liked her and she was very adaptable to each situation
• It was great
• At the Christmas party she was she was surrounded by a group of friends
• And so many people sent me thank you notes afterwards mentioning how much of a joy it was to meet my mom
• I am grateful
• I am happy that she was here and that my friends, who only ever see me and everything I do, now also know a little bit more about me
• I shared my mom and therefore, another part of my life with them
• I dropped the usual worries surrounding my mom and just went with the flow

• Gratitude is powerful my friends
• It allows us to embrace our life and accept it
• And I find, that every time I do that, instead of fight against it or complain about it, new and unexpected doors open up
• Next week I will talk a little more about goals and habits
• Be sure to start any change with being thankful what you already have
• This is your base line
• All the changes you attempt will come easier, and in a more harmonious way when you come from a place of gratitude

Much love my friends