Episode 599 – Three ways to find gratitude

• Although this year it’s a bit harder to be grateful on Thanksgiving when we cant celebrate it like we normally do, there are still ways to find appreciation
• I found 3 ways – and I want to share them with you today – on Thanksgiving 2020

Main

• There are many reasons to complain this year
• And I think we all have done a fair share of that already
• But here we are
• The holiday season 2020
• And with it, the end of the year nearing
  • And end we all have wished for many times during the year
• and yet, here we are
• in a time of year that is all about gratitude
• not complaining
• it begins with Thanksgiving and a big feast in the company of people we are close to –
  • in mind and often by relations
• and then its only one month to Christmas
• 4 weeks that we spend thinking of others
  • We cook and bake more and share our goodies with friends and coworkers
  • We spend hours online or in stores purchasing things we hope the receiver will love
  • We decorate our homes so we and others can enjoy it
• And then we settle down intimately with our loved ones to exchange gifts and celebrate this special time of the year
• And in the final week between Christmas and New Years, we wrap up projects, we revisit our goals or resolutions, we take stock of the year
• This time of year is here
• After many months living with uncertainty about the future, the holiday season has arrived, as it always has
• Now for many people, its not the same
  • Family gatherings are probably much smaller this year and many people didn’t travel to see relatives
• But I find a sense of appreciation in the mere fact that the holidays are still here and we get to enjoy them just as we always have
• I know this may sound weird, but whereas before I always looked ahead on the calendar for this long 4 day weekend, this year it just kind of snuck up on me
  • Almost as if I didn’t want to plan on it, because so many plans this year didn’t go the way we hoped
• So here we are
• Thanksgiving, the holidays, maybe not as they always looked  – but still here
• A sign that we still have what is most precious to us
• So the question for all of us is –
• How can we find gratitude?
  • When things are not perfect, we can always focus on what’s missing
  • Or we can just be appreciative of what we have
  • And we can also be thankful for the times we did have – the past holidays, the good times
• I don’t know about you, but since I move at much slower pace this year than before, I notice more
• Maybe because I spend more time just walking outside, not running from one place to another or getting a 20 min powerwalk in
• I just walk
• And I really admired the color of the leaves this year
• In fact, I brought a few home and laid them around in my place
  • Beautiful colors – right yellows, deep reds, orange, brown, and sometimes all in one leaf, like a swirl
  • I love the sound of leaves around my feet as I walk down the sidewalk
• And I thought, as I always think when its Fall – that nature around me is ending a cycle, but at the same time preparing for a new one
• And this is how I want to think about this year
• It wasn’t a waste – it was just a different year
• And just as we spent missing our normal life, I know for certain we will at some point look back on 2020 and reminisce about some of its special moments
• So why not try to find them now?
• When I reflect on the things I am grateful for, my thoughts can go 3 ways
• One – there is the past
  • Not all was good in the past
  • Many things could have been better had I made different decisions
  • But in between there were so wonderful sunrises and sunsets, enlightening conversations, days on the beach and days in the mountains, car trips, special meals, hugs and kisses and so many other things that made so many moments memorable
  • Even the tough times – we can thank them for the lessons they taught is
  • Gratitude can be as simple as remembering those past moments – without regret and sadness – but a simple joy in having had those experiences
  • The past is a like a library of accumulated stories that we have available to us and that we can dig into when we need a smile, some motivation, and a reminder of the richness of our life
• Two – there is the present
  • This is the kind of gratitude that is easiest to come by
  • Simply look around you – right now – wherever you are
  • And acknowledge what you have
  • Just like with the past – its not perfect
  • There could be more, or better, or less
  • But there is definitely a lot right now, we can all appreciate
  • I am alone this thanksgiving
  • In the past, I would let my thoughts focus on the negative aspect of being alone
  • No more
  • The last few years I have actually declined TG invitations so I can be alone
  • Just had another one last evening
  • Wonderful people, great intentions
  • But I enjoy this day by myself
    • In my friends big house
    • With a cat sleeping on my lap
    • My laundry getting clean in a nice washing machine
    • My climbing rope soaked in a big bath tub
    • A big kitchen where I will later enjoy cooking a meal for myself
    • And peace and quiet to think
  • All things I don’t have or cannot do at my place – at least not as well as here
  • in this present moment – as imperfect as it might be for you, maybe because you cannot see your family or friends
  • you can still acknowledge the existence of everything you’re missing
  • it may not be with you at this time
    • your loved ones, or the places you like to go to, or even the food you usually enjoy
  • you can still say Thank you for those things because they exist, they are there, they continue
  • just not as you want them to this minute
  • This is the magic of gratitude:
  • Its being good with what is and how it is in this present moment

• And lastly – there is gratitude in the future
  • Much harder to find – at least for me
  • Because the future, as we all have been taught, is highly uncertain
  • And that’s ok
  • Maybe this is one of the major lessons of this pandemic:
  • To be more thankful for our past experiences and enjoy what we have at the present
  • I know I have been always very future-focused
    • With my goals, my plans, my routines
  • And the present-day joys didn’t last very long as I was always looking forward to the next thing
  • But since much of my schedule has fallen apart and my future has become less predictable, I am living much more in this present moment
  • And I look towards the future, yes, with more skepticism, fewer plans, but also with more respect
  • Meaning – I am more open and accepting of what comes my way
  • I also enjoy the present more knowing I don’t own tomorrow
  • I feel like I am Less judging when whatever shows up is not meeting my preconceived notions
  • I am rolling more with the flow of my short term future and I am less focused on time that’s far out
  • For example
    • When my yoga teacher whose classes I have come to love schedules yet another round of them for next week
    • She started these live zoom classes in March or April, right around the time I discovered her through IG
    • She probably thought these would be temporary, we all did
    • But since we are Still at home, she has continued them
    • Even offered one today on TG day
    • Donation-based
    • No expectation of being compensated
    • Simply offering her time and her skills – and she is quite amazing – let me tell you
  • We can find certainty and appreciation in the future
    • We know nature continues
    • We know Christmas is in 4 weeks
    • We know our friends are only a phone call away
    • And Amazon will be here tomorrow as well to save the day with whatever material needs we might have
  • And without knowing whats ahead in the long term, we can still prepare
    • A class or course learning a skill we may want to use later
    • The continuation of a conversation with a person we met a while back to see if it evolves into a friendship
    • A small change in our diet to see if down the road we feel better
  • Gratitude for the future for me means being just a bit better today
  • For me that also means not putting up with everything anymore
  • Whereas before I might have stuck in relationships longer, thinking I will figure it out somehow, I somehow have lost the patience to endure something that doesn’t make me happy
  • And that is also appreciation – an appreciation for ourselves
    • To live a life that makes us happy, not miserable
    • Because its much harder to be thankful when we are living in circumstances that make us unhappy
  • So – with all the ideas on gratitude today on this thanksgiving day of 2020
    • Don’t forget yourself
    • Give yourself a pad on the back
    • Be grateful for who you are, the unique and one of a kind person you are, everything you have seen, experienced, accomplished, and the life you still have ahead of you
    • Start with yourself – that’s where everything begins.

• With that my friends – I wish you a happy thanksgiving – wherever you are in this world
• And I hope this episode inspired you to find some gratitude today, and every day, even when things don’t look like they normally do

Much love