I’m still buzzing with energy from the workshop over a week ago! It was such a joy to connect with those who attended and together dive into meaningful conversations revolving around a wonderful story written by my friend Bipin Aurora. The insights people shared and the openness in the room made it a special experience for everyone. Moments like these remind me why I love creating spaces where people can grow, reflect, and connect.
But there is another thought that still lingers in my mind: several people signed up but didn’t show up. They saw the event posted, it piqued their curiosity, they checked their calendar, logged into Eventbrite, and said (indirectly), “I am attending.”
It has me thinking—why do we commit to something and then not follow through?
This isn’t new to me. For years, I hosted a monthly dinner Meetup, and I observed the same pattern: people signing up, expressing excitement, and then not showing up. And it’s not just events—I see it in my own life, too. I’ll tell a friend, “Let’s do something this weekend,” and then never follow up. Weeks go by, and that intention to connect gets lost.
What’s going on here? I brainstormed a few possible explanations:

Overcommitting Without Prioritizing
It’s easy to say “yes,” especially in the excitement of the moment or out of a desire to please others. When our calendars look empty days or weeks out, it feels right to commit.
What’s missing:
A pause to consider whether a commitment aligns with our schedule, goals, and values.
What can we do about it:
Try to ask yourself:
Does this align with what’s important to me at this point in my life?
Am I willing to follow through even if other things come up?
Am I truly committed to this?

Quitting ahead of time
Sometimes, we give up before we even start. We let our primitive brain take over, which prefers comfort and familiarity over effort and risk. We second-guess our decisions  (“Oh, that event wasn’t that important”) or we come up with excuses (“I am just too busy for this”).
What’s missing:
Integrity with ourselves. When we don’t honor the commitments we make, we weaken the trust we have in ourselves. Sticking to our word—especially when it’s hard—is how we build self-trust and confidence.
What can we do about it:
Try to ask yourself:
Am I letting short-term discomfort override my long-term goals?
What am I trying to avoid by not following through?
Is this the person I want to be?

Confusion about what we want
I think a lot of times we just don’t know what we want. A lot of things look and sound good—a classic case of Shiny Object Syndrome (SOS)—but when it comes time to follow through, we realize we’re not as invested as we thought.
What’s missing:
Without clarity about what really matters to us, we will just willy-nilly grasp for things, hoping it gives us some kind of satisfaction. When there’s no deeper connection to the commitments we are making, it’s just as easy to not follow-through.
What can we do about it:
Try to ask yourself:
Why am I saying yes to this?
What does it mean to me?
How will this enrich my life?

Final Thoughts
There are probably more reasons for not following through that I haven’t captured here.
IT IS hard to stick to a commitment.
IT IS challenging to take a risk with something unknown.
There are always so many things we could be doing with the limited time we have.
But there is also a lot of power in prioritizing our life, saying YES to the things that align with our goals and challenge our growth, and deciding—with a clear NO—not to attend to the rest. This includes admitting when we’ve made a mistake by signing up and, instead of letting silence do the work, letting the people we committed to know about our change of heart.
The power is in making intentional decisions and following through with integrity.

What will you say “yes” to this week?

Warmly
Janine