Some people drive thirty minutes to sit with strangers and talk about topics that might stir up difficult thoughts and feelings. Others sign up for a thirty-minute Zoom call out of curiosity—and then don’t show up.

I’ve encountered both recently. And I’ve been both.

What separates those who show up for what matters from those who don’t? Often, it comes down to focus.

Look at your last four weeks. Where did your time go? Were you intentionally moving toward something that mattered—working on a habit, your health, a relationship? Or were you mostly reacting to the day-to-day, putting out fires, canceling plans, feeling overwhelmed?

Four weeks won’t tell your whole story, but they do reveal your current direction. At its core, the question is simple: were you building momentum, or were you mostly distracted? And if distraction crept in, how might you begin to shift again? It starts with noticing.

The tricky thing about distraction is that it often begins as temporary relief—but then can slowly turn into a default. That’s the part worth paying attention to.

Distraction isn’t bad. It’s a payoff.

Last year, I climbed my little heart out and became a better climber. But I didn’t work very consistently on my coaching business—my big goal for the year. I knew the tradeoff. That goal felt intimidating, and after just a few workshops I got discouraged, and I leaned into something that felt easier and more rewarding.

Distraction can come from discouragement.
And distraction can also create discouragement.

When we have momentum—signing clients, losing weight, feeling like we’re winning at life—we’re less tempted to detour. But when we hit setbacks, some distractions start to feel comforting: the fridge, the mini bar, Netflix. And the longer we stay there, the harder it is to get back on track.

Distractions are part of life. Kids interrupt, appliances break, work gets exhausting, deals fall through. None of that means you’re doomed to fail. Just be careful not to turn the normal messiness of life into a story about why you can’t reach your goals.

When you can’t find your foucs in the long-term – Discouragement quietly turns into defeat. And before you know it, you’re no longer moving forward—you’re just getting through the day.

To catch that downward slide early, I suggest asking yourself a few honest questions at the end of each month:

• What’s going on in other areas of my life that might be pulling me away from progress and toward comfort?

• What am I not allowing myself to feel or face—fear, disappointment, resistance—and what am I buffering with instead?

And then, to reclaim your focus, show up for yourself again, with small steps, on the daily.

One way to do that is to sit down with a notebook and ask these questions on paper. Another is to show up—drive thirty minutes, grab a coffee, and sit with a group of people willing to reflect together. This month, you have the opportunity to do both with me.

If you feel the pull to re-engage, to step out of distraction and back into focus, I’d love to have you join us.

Warmly,
Janine