Laura and I have been offering journaling workshops for over a year now, almost every month. They tend to be on weekday afternoons, and she could tell you that I often arrive stressed, tense, worried that something is not in order. But as soon as people sit down and we begin to write in community and share pieces of ourselves through words, I relax.

Every time, in every single session, I realize that there is the workshop we prepare, and then there is the workshop that happens. Two very different things.
What we prepare is what we know. What happens is reality, life unfolding.
The latter is not planned, and it is the part that leaves me most in awe.

I often rush to our workshops, earbuds in, listening to something to unwind from a hectic workday. And every time, I leave in complete bliss — walking home slowly, smelling the flowers along the way, my heart wide open. I am so touched by the two hours I just spent that I need a long walk to let it all settle within me.

Every month, I think the essence of these workshops lies in what we prepare — the topic, the prompts, the questions.
But what actually moves me in the most unexpected ways is the unfolding. The way people, their stories, and their energies come together and open hearts.

Which means — my heart is closed when I arrive.
Closed because I worry, I try to control the moment, and I resist all the small difficulties that make it hard to be fully present.

I have noticed that my heart closes to protect itself.
When something feels uncomfortable, threatening, painful, or not to my liking, I close internally. It’s often other people that trigger the closing of my heart. And somehow we’ve been taught to think there is strength in withholding difficult emotions.

But then we become tense because we try to control the world around us — to make it somehow match our inner state. And in doing so, we close ourselves off to the way life wants to unfold.
If our journaling sessions happened exactly the way I imagined them beforehand, I probably would not remember a single one. The beauty of it all is in the unexpected — even when the unexpected is not always positive.

Every morning, I wake up and already begin closing my heart for the day — because of the circumstances I am not happy with, and the ones I predict will happen that I won’t like.
I wish I could enter every day with my heart open, ready to welcome everything, because ultimately I know I can handle it. I have handled life all my life. I can do it again with whatever comes my way.

And so can you.

Maybe that is what real strength actually is.
– Not controlling life enough to feel safe.
– Not predicting every difficulty before it arrives.
– Not bracing ourselves against disappointment.
But trusting that we can meet life as it unfolds — and welcome the surprises it brings along.

I find it easy to sit in meditation and feel present when things are quiet. Yet it gets much harder to stay open with a rude person, an unexpected setback, or a difficult conversation. But that is where the real work lives — not in avoiding the difficult parts of life, but in staying open right in the middle of them.

Our next journaling workshop is scheduled for June 5th, and Laura and I would love to open our hearts alongside you. More details & tickets can be found here:
https://questforyou.com/writing/heart-on-paper/

Warmly,
Janine