Add show notes here!

Episode 431 – Managing distractions to maximize focus   

• Hi there
• Have you ever found yourself wrapped up in a texting exchange that started harmless – hello – how is it going – and then ended up taking hours?
• You were working on something important, but you decided to text a little bit while working
• And without noticing – you were wrapped up
• You didn’t really resolve anything with that person
• And you didn’t get your work done
• I call those times loose-loose times
• You tried to accomplish 2 things at once – work and text – and you didn’t accomplish neither
• From talking with friends – I know this happens frequently
• It happened to me just recently
• And not just me – the person I was texting with also – it makes us 2
• I don’t know if he feels the same way about the time loss, but he was equally wrapped up
• The night before my trip, when I was trying to get my podcast epsiodes ready for the week that I was going to be out – I entered such a text exchange
• On top of that I had problems with my website host so I was also chatting with them, trying to get my website up and running so I could post my episodes
• All of this in the precious hours of 10-midnight where I was supposed to be in bed
• who is to blame?
• My friend? I wish
• Its entirely my fault – and here is why
• in thinking through this lost hour or 2 – I don’t even know how much was lost – I realized so many key lessons that I thought it might be worth sharing them so you also can be more conscious of these times
• they may not happen exactly like this for you – but they play out over and over again in some form or another in our life
• we set out with a plan and then we get side-tracked
  • maybe by a person, the internet, an event, something outside of us
• we get distracted from our main objective for various reasons that have to do with the outside distraction
  • to many to name them all but I would sum them all up in the phrase “shiny little things”
  • something more interesting than what we are doing pulls away our concentration
• but the main reason for why we engage and lose focus has little to do with the shiny thing
• it has to do with us
  • we think we can
  • we decide to be distracted and I found 3 main reason for this

1. it’s a test

• A call on us to show how good we are in multitasking and we want to demonstrate that we are capable  
• We are competitive – even with ourselves, so we take on the challenge
•  

2. It gets us results

• we like accomplishments
• we like checking off things
• and the prospect of doing something else while doing our work is promising to us
  • a text exchange while writing a paper – piece of cake
  • a quick shopping trip on Amazon for a couple of things we’ve been meaning to order – check – get it done
  • a load of laundry in between writing that long tedious paper we are working on – sounds productive
• We think we can engage just briefly with the distraction and be done
• Two things done instead of one
• And

3. It gets us attention

• Probably the trickiest of all to detect and it took me some time to figure this one out
• We like attention
• We like being needed, acknowledged, and be seen
• That’s why social media is so popular – it gives us all a reach in this world we previsouly didn’t have
• Now we get pleasure from strangers liking our pictures
• Before we were not known
• Distractions capture us because they ask for our attention
  • Someone texting – heck yeah – the clearest call for attention
  • Shopping on amazon – those products all want to be bought – they call for our attention
  • Laundry – maybe – yet still a distraction and a demonstration of our inability to focus on one thing

• all 3 reasons these were true for me that evening
• I was editing my episodes on my Mac when the texting started
  • Its so easy to write text messages on your computer
  • If it involves my phone, I am less inclined to constantly pick that up to write a message
  • But I am already working on my computer so I am just switching back and forth between windows
  • I thought I could do it at the same time
  • I hadn’t talked to this friend for a while so why not check off a conversation that was long overdue
  • And I like the attention
  • He usually doesn’t text back right away but this time he did and it was a constant boost of attention
    • Even though the messages kept gripping my attention to the point that I paused my editing several times just so I could text
    • And with every new text I wrote, I still though – ok – I need to wrap this up – time is flying – I need to get to bed
    • But it didn’t get wrapped
    • One complication after another
    • Confusion, trying to understand
    • And time flew by
  • And in the end nothing was resolved
  • A conversation that didn’t bring clarity, that didn’t go anywhere, that didn’t bring our friendship closer together
    • A waste of time
  • So – what do we do?
  • How can we guard our time and our goals and our attention better?
  • Things outside of us will continue to distract us
  • Sometimes these distractions are necessary
    • an emergency
    • an important issue that you have been waiting to resolve
    • something that is truly quick and can be done because its necessary
  • but rarely are they really that important to distract us from our plan
  • now I know this may sounds to you like I am highly inflexible and rigid
  • and most people that know me would tend to agree with that
  • but I want to illustrate to you that inflexibility is important because I believe we are to flexible most of the time
  • my levels of flexibility will be different than yours
  • and that is quite alright
  • as I said in the beginning, my texting friend may not feel about that time the same way I do
  • but – I argue – he also probaly could have done something more valuable with the time
  •  
  • if we want to spend our life in a more meaningful way
  • if we want to live with more purpose
  • get more done
  • achieve more
  • make an impact on others lives
  • we have to learn to manage our time
  •  
  • Sure – not every minute of it
  • But when you set out on an important mission – project, a task, something that yields a critical outcome when done
    • Something more important that the laundry or a random errand
  • But your work
    • Maybe your meditation practice you are trying to get consistent in
    • The blog post for a website you own
    • The report for your boss
  • Critical tasks that, when done, add value to your life and that of others
  • Then you cannot afford distractions
  • I certainly couldn’t afford it that night
  • I got 4 hours of sleep – not enough to be focused on the plane the next day and get important work done
  • the ripple effect
  • didn’t get my episodes done
  • didn’t clear up anything productively with my friend
  • and now – on top of it – I was to tired to do all the work I had planned to do on my 5 hour flight
  • and my health probably suffered somewhere along the way due to insufficient sleep
    • I probably lost a day of my life
  • You need to protect your time
  • I need to protect my time
  • In my next episode I will talk about how we utilize our talents
  • Distractions are a main reason we underutilize them, sometimes don’t even notice them
  • So its critical we understand what distracts us
    • A need to prove we can do it all
    • A drive for more results
    • And a need for attention
  • so here is what I propose we do:
  • first – lets be very clear and conscious when we are doing important work
    • a lot of our days are spent on tasks that are not life-changing
    • we have our daily jobs where its usually ok to surf the internet for a portion of it
    • we have our responsibilities at home that we can do or leave however we please
    • so the time we have to actually sit down to do important stuff is, for most of us, is rare
      • maybe we are facing a deadline – like I did
      • or we carved out that time specifically to accomplish something
    • but we are more used to multi-tasking than we are to focus on one and only one thing
      • that’s why I like long flights so much – I am stuck to my seat and cant go anywhere other then to my work
    • once when we have set that time aside – we need to protect it
      • It probably costs us a lot to even make that time
      • And even if your deadline is still far away, and slacking off today doesn’t have any major consequences tomorrow – you need to honor your time
      • You made a commitment with yourself – honor it by doing what you set out to do
      • Turn off your notifications
      • Put your phone away
      • Go someplace with minimal distractions
      • Do whatever you need to do to protect your time
    • But being conscious about the importance of that time is Step one
    • Step 2 – guard it and stick to it
    •  
    • Text messages can wait
    • People can wait
    • By giving your time away to others, you are disrespecting yourself
    • They are now more important than you and your goals
    • It doesn’t mean they are not important
    • But they can wait
    • You will give them their attention – just not right now
    • In the gym I am pretty protective with my time
    • I will greet other people, I will have a quick chat, especially with someone I haven’t seen in a while
    • But I will not linger in conversations that then make me late for everything else I have waiting for me afterwards
    • If there is someone there that I really want to talk to more, or where there is something important to discuss, I can always do it outside of the gym
      • Via phone or email or by meeting with the person
    • Be selfish
    • You are on a mission
    • You have objectives that others don’t know about
    • When you have allocated a certain amount of time to that objective – stick to it
    • Don’t allow your goals to be hijacked by someone elses goals
    • Looking back at my text exchange
    • I allowed my friend’s need to discuss a certain matter take me off my plan
    • Instead – I could have easily said
      • This is an important topic, lets talk about that tomorrow as I am in the middle of something
    • This shows the respect to myself that I deserve and to the other person as well

As a famous quote says – I don’t know who coined it – Starve your distractions – feed your focus.

much love