Episode 36 – For a friend

This episode is for a good friend of mine who is struggling to find his way in life

And this episode is for all of you who don’t know exactly if you are on the right track

And if you have friends that this could apply to, please send them a link to my podcast so they can listen as well

So –this is for you:

I know  you feel torn between decisions you need to make

Unhappy with your current situation

But happy at the same time

Because there are elements of your life you enjoy

You completely sink into, absorb, and thrive in

But there are decisions pending in the back of your mind

There are things that are not ok

That you need to straighten out

Address

Face – head on

I know

And you have asked all your friends for advise and feedback

Including me

And after everyone offered their thoughts –  you are still not decided

Not clear

Confused and overwhelmed

unfocused

So you go out and distract yourself

Golf, fishing, another drink, another ESPN Sunday afternoon marathon

Time with friends talking about this issue or maybe not

Maybe talking about nothing of importance

But it feels good to not have to think about it

I get it

The distractions are a nice get-away

In the moment

But when the moments are over

You are back

Back to face life

Back to face decisions, feelings that stir you, and emotions that cause you sleepless nights

Because its your life

And you want to make the right decision

Your current situation is not bad, but it could be better

And you know it

Maybe you are even happy but you know that this is not all

You know you have so much more to offer

You get excited by the thought of starting something new

But then you pull back

Decision fatigue

Afraid to call the shots

Whats if its not the right decision?

My message to you is very simple, yet it seems so hard to do for many

You need to become still

You need to become present

If you cannot see yourself medidating, then don’t

But you need to find stillness

Its hard, I know

You are not used to it

you are always busy, distracting yourself

you tried a couple of times – to sit still, to relax

And it didn’t work for you

Your mind was all over the place

And it was torture

But it is like this with everything new

I know that sitting still sounds so simple

Learning to play golf is much harder

But in fact, being still is one of the hardest things to do

Because its so against our nature

So give it time

Becoming still is a skill to be learned

Just like you learned tennis and swimming and fishing and mowing lawns and cooking

It takes time

So give it time

Try it

Every day a little bit

Start with one minute

Then 2

Build up

Its in the stillness that your mind comes to rest

Its in the silence that your heart finds peace and your body relaxes

The world has so many voices, and all of you speak to you at the same time time, pulling you in this direction or that one

Learn to listen to your inner voice – it’s the only true voice that knows whats best for you

Rainer Maria Rilke – Live the Questions Now

…I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903
in Letters to a Young Poet