QFY – Episode 9 – Don’t believe everything you think

1. Hi there
2. Intro

• Its Janine here with another episode of your amazing journey titled Quest for You

• Are you looking for change?
• Are tired of being depressed, angry, upset, without motivation, feeling irritated every single day?
• Are you fed up with how you look and feel? Overweight, sluggish, not significant, not beautiful?
• Are you unhappy with the life you are living – not enough money or freedom, parents that dont understand you, a partner that you are fighting with too much, your health, your relationships, your work, – you want to change it all?
• And you don’t know where to start?
• Today I want to tell you how you can start to change one or more of these
• And its an easy yet at the same time very difficult answer
• And it all starts with your thoughts – the things you are thinking every day, every minute of the day
• The thoughts we are thinking are the last thing we think about
• We think about so much all day
• Ever thought about what you are thinking?
• most of the day our thoughts just stream — like a constant flow of music or YouTube videos that don’t seem to stop ever unless you hit Pause.
• Our thoughts – we often believe they are the essence of us. They come from somewhere deep inside and they must be the real thing.
• Wisdom. Rationality.
• Everything we learned over the years is within us – and it guides as we face important decisions or need to answer difficult questions
• It must be the truth – our truth
• We question what others say, but we rarely question what we think
• But sometimes we get frustrated that we think and feel the same when certain situations occur
• Jealousy is a good example. Its often something we don’t want to feel, yet it comes up
• And as much as we try to suppress it – the thought is there and once it arises, it slowly takes over our whole body
• The same happens with fear and anxiety
• Scientifically we can say – in very general terms that thoughts originate in the brain from the activity of neurons
• The human brain is composed of about 100 billion nerve cells (neurons) interconnected by trillions of connections, called synapses. On average, each connection transmits about one signal per second.
• Some specialized connections send up to 1,000 signals per second.
• Those connections are producing thought
• In biological terms a thought cant really be defined
• What is known is that thoughts are triggered by stimuli, which are usually external – you see, hear or feel something
• Each of these events triggers a series of signals in the brain.
• This means that thoughts emerge uniquely for every person and is based on the things we experience every day
• Thoughts also consists of the things we’ve learned, consciously and unconsciously, and the various events that have shaped our bodies and our neural connections in large and small ways.
• The forces inside and outside the body manifest in the brain as ‘clouds’ of information. In the right circumstances these nebulous patterns can condense into streams of thought.
• And lastly – there are things that influence our thinking that probably have to do with Our evolutionary pre-history – things way back in the past
• In very simple terms we can say – that our thoughts are shaped by what we pick up along our journey called life
• Most of this “picking up” occurs unconsciously
• Rarely do we say : yes – I like this – I am adopting this experience and going forward will use it as a pattern on how to think
• So – what we need to recognize here is that thoughts and thought patterns accumulate over time, often in the background and unknowingly to us
• And then – as we face specific situations in life, our brain pulls out a card and says – here you go – think according to this pattern we have stored for you
• And that’s what we do
• We respond very similarly to repeated circumstances –
• And that takes us back to the questions I asked at the outset of this episode
• Are you happy with your thoughts and your reactions to life?
• Are you happy with the results of your life?
• If you are not then possibly you have recognized that something needs changing
• You probably heard me say this before – but I believe our thoughts are so powerful they actually run our life
• And its only in waking up from this hamster wheel mechanism that we can begin to see the possibilities

• So I am going to tell you something that may shock you:
• Don’t believe everything you think

• The first time I learned that we think between 60-80,000 thoughts a day I almost fell out of my chair
• It was immediately clear to me that I may be thinking that many thoughts, but that the majority of those are repetitive.
• We think the same thoughts over and over again.
• If you really think about it you realize, like I did, that most of our thoughts revolve a few major things that are very similar day in day out
  • Things we need to do – appointments, schedules, tasks. Most of this thinking occurs prior to the actual activity.
  • One or more major things going on in our life that we are unable to resolve quickly. Maybe relationship trouble. Maybe financial issues. something at work. Something we are mulling over.
  • A bunch of useless stuff. Mostly driven by whats happening in our immediate environment at the moment. Memories, weird things that suddenly pop up, etc,
• Guess whats missing from all this thinking?
• Purpose and presence
• Most of these thoughts don’t lead anywhere.
• They either have us stuck in the past or take us prematurely into the future
• And many of them make us feel bad.
• The past is filled with regret. How many times are thinking – should have done that, should have said that, should have should have
• The future is filled with anxiety. We plan what we will do a million times over and then we are so surprised how most the planning was useless because reality played out quite differently

• We are often a victim to our thoughts. WE believe them. We think that’s how life is.
• We make decisions based on our thoughts and sometimes these are very bad decisions
• We have horrible feeling because of our thoughts
• Remember the jealously example?
• The feelings associated with the thoughts of jealously are painful
• Same is true for fear. Guild. Shame.
• Our thoughts can make us unhappy.
• Our thoughts are so powerful.
• They can make us give up our goals and throw our plans overboard
• They can make us have unrealistic perceptions of ourselves and others.
• you cannot believe everything your thoughts tell you
• I am NOT saying to think positive all day long and ignore the facts and true issue that need addressing
• If you are looking at yourself in the mirror and don’t like the way you look, then make changes
• If you hate your job – same thing
• But what I am saying is this:
• Thought precedes change.
• We will talk a lot more about thoughts in future podcasts.
• But to initiate change, you need to start with your thoughts
• So often we do nothing. We freeze. We are hard on ourselves. We lose confidence. We miss opportunities in life because of our thoughts.
• So
• Start recognizing the thoughts that run you
• And question them
• Ask yourself – is this really true what I am thinking?
• Ask yourself today: what is making me unhappy?
• Is it your weight?
• Then dig deeper
• What are the thoughts you have about your weight?
• Do you know people that are overweight, they start a diet and exercise program and they lose it?
• Like a piece of cake?
• We cant read their mind, but their thoughts were probably positive, action-oriented. They believed they could do it and they did it.
• So can you. Have you failed at your diets and workout plans?
• Then lets think again.
• What thoughts accompany your actions?
• Are you unhappy with the way you react when people comment on your funky clothes, your hairstyle, your tattoos?
• Do you admire the people that are always calm and collected, smiling, and nothing seems to bother them?
• Then I am telling you – start thinking about your thoughts.
• What is your default response?
• Just changing it wont work. I bet you tried.
• But think about what the thoughts are that precede your response.
• Remember – thoughts precede actions.
• Triggers in your brain.
• Lets start figuring them out.
• And once we do – we can change them
• That’s the best news of this entire episode.
• We can change our thoughts
• They are not fixed.
• They are not our destiny.
• They are not the eternal wisdom. They are just a random deck of cards we started collecting over the years.
• So – lets exchange a few cards – the ones we don’t like.
• Lets start small.
• For today I really would like for you to spend a few minutes following this podcast thinking about what we talked about
• Can you identify something you would like to change? Something you are not happy with
• One thing – large or small – Write it down.
• I encourage you to consciously think about this one thing and your thoughts around it
• And if you don’t have much time right now, take it with you into your day today.
• Remind yourself to think about it during pockets of free time today
• Maybe turn the radio off in the car today and just think about this one thing
• Can you go for a 15min walk during lunch and think?
• Or set a reminder on your phone to turn off all devices 20min before bedtime and sit and think about
• think about the thoughts that you associate with this one thing in your life that you would like change.
• Write them down.
• And then as you collect them, think about how you can change them
• We will talk more in future episodes on your thoughts and how to turn them into action.
• For now, collect them.
• As you start questioning your thoughts, they will reveal themselves to you.
• This is the work of psychologists
• They dig around in your thoughts – and so can you.
• Place yourself into a calm environment, go for a walk, turn of the distractions and think about the thoughts that run you
• Start today.