I used to dread Sundays

Not Mondays, but Sundays

They were the worst day of my week

They stood for Good-byes

Good bye to the weekend

to worry-free time

to my grandparents that I had to leave

back on my bicycle, later my motorcycle, and then the train

to my new home

which was not my old home

On Sundays I was melancholic

They were the shortest days of the week

Over much quicker than other days

I couldn’t let go of the last 24 hours that were filled with fun and laughter

While thinking ahead of the bitter week to come

People that I didn’t want to be with

Places that I didn’t want to go to

Nothing to look forward to

As a child, I often cried on Sundays

Alone, on my bicycle up that huge hill

Because I had to leave people behind that I loved

And that loved me

Where I could be myself, free and uninhibited

Living a happy life

And I carried the Sunday sadness with me

Into my adult life

Now it was the school or the job I didn’t look forward to

I passed Sundays depressed, in a bad mood, worried, anxious

In disbelief that the weekend passed so hurriedly

In rejection of everything that lay ahead

Nothing to look forward to

Lately I started working on healing my Sunday blues

I get up earlier than everyone else to make the day longer

I relish in the exceptional peace that only a Sunday morning brings

I have my favorite coffee only on Sundays

And then I take time to plan the week ahead

Filling it with endeavors to look forward to

Focusing on the potential of the future instead of the uncontrollability of the past

I exchanged the job that gave me worry with one that I enjoy

I started a project that excites and challenges me every single day

I call family and friends far away to reconnect with my past in a loving way

I plan my toughest workout for Sundays, ending the day feeling accomplished and energized

I am slowly turning around what once gave me agony

By leaving the past behind

And appreciating my present with gratitude and love

And challenging myself to see beyond today

Planning excitement, fulfillment and compassion for my future

I am holding my own hand through this

Sometimes that is what it takes

Recognizing our fears

And walking slowly but surely through them