Add show notes here!

Episode 440 – The tunnel of uncertainty

• Welcome QFY friends
• Do you remember before?
• Before you started?
• Do you remember before you began college?
• Or before you started your current job, your family, the activity you are now heavily involved in?
• There was always a before
• And there is now
• I envision it like a tunnel
  • Before you enter it, everything is clear and bright
  • You are in a good place
  • But here comes the tunnel
  • The road you are on leads straight to it
  • Scary – but no more turning around
  • You go
  • As you enter the tunnel, its gets dark and its hard to see whats ahead
  • You’re little worried – when will this end
  • And then you see the light coming through as you reach the end
  • What a relief
• I have felt like this driving through long tunnels in Europe
• Even though I know I am safe – I am always a little tense and wait impatiently for the tunnel to end
• A lot of things we begin feel this way
• All we see is darkness – very little light
• And we don’t know how long this feeling will last
  • Uncertainly
  • Discomfort
  • Fear
• But as soon as we see the light, those feelings begin to dissipate
• And the more we distance ourselves from the tunnel, we hardly even remember it
• We are moving forward on the new road
  • Obstacle overcome
  • Fear gone
  • Uncertainty turned into certainty

• I want to share some of my before’s with you to motivate you to start whatever currently still scares you or makes you uncomfortable
• It was the same for me
• The biggest problem for me was always the darkness – the uncertainly
  • Not knowing if I will make it through and HOW
  • The big question of how
• But as you will see from my examples, and can easily see when you reflect back on your life – the how takes care of itself
• The biggest challenge is to begin
• Most of our effort and time goes into preparation
• But once we take the first step, the others usually follow
• The same applies to events that pose obstacles
  • A sudden and unexpected situation that we get thrown into
  • A dark tunnel ahead of us
• It works the same way – we have to move through
• Its hard in the beginning but it gets easier once we are on the move
• The most important step is not somewhere in between
  • It’s the first one

• Before I came to the US, I lived in a communist country that was locked up
  • I didn’t contribute to the fall of the Berlin wall, but I took the chance to come here when I saw it
  • I left my entire life behind,
  • I had just furnished my first apartment with the money my grandparents had religiously saved for me since I was born
  • I was one year in that apartment and I left it all when I saw an ad in a paper
    • Californian family looking for an au-pair
  • It sounded appealing but it was still a tunnel I had to get through to make it here
• Before I was able to stay permanently in the US, I passed through a tunnel that was dark and long – years long
  • The process of obtaining residency in the US is an arduous one
  • there are rules – and no matter how much effort you want to put forth – it doesn’t matter
  • once the paperwork has been submitted, you have to wait for someone to process it
  • you gave to let go
  • this was so hard for me
  • every day I thought – what if it doesn’t work out?
  • Years of uncertainty
  • While I established a life here, I waited for paperwork to eb process and an interview invitation
  • And then – you wait again
  • I didn’t have a plan B
  • I only trusted the process as much as possible without driving myself crazy
  • It was hard
  • It required lots of patience
  • But today I look back and I am grateful for all those years
  • It paid off
  • Today I am free and can live the life I want to live here in the US
• Before I started my podcast, I was afraid to bring my voice out into the world
• I thought people would laugh
• I imagined all my friends thinking what the heck is wrong with me
• They would think I am a weirdo so I didn’t tell them for a long time
• And when I told them, I did so only briefly and then changed the subject
• It took me years to gain the confidence that my podcast is worth something
• In fact, now that I am thinking about it, I believe it was my speaking program that helped me get that confidence
• There I met many people that have podcasts like mine but I noticed they stand much more solid and really own their voice and their message
• It is only now, after years, that people I see every day learn about my podcast
• People at the gym and at my work place
• Just last weekend I updated my LinkedIn profile to add my speaking career and my podcast
• I know – hard to believe
• I was scared of what people might think
• But today I realize – the more I own myself, the more progress I make
• I piddled along with my podcast for years,
• Only now I have ideas and a sense of direction on where I want to take Quest For you
• And my last Before was when I was a runner and didn’t set a foot in the gym
• I thought I couldn’t live without running
• And I told everyone that
• The gym? Are you kidding?
• The idea of throwing around iron in an enclosed environment when I can be outside struck me as the strangest thing
  • No way
• Running made me feel free
• Until I injured myself and my doctor told me to go try other sports
• I still resisted the gym – I swam, I biked, I tried everything else
• The gym was the last thing
• And I always thought everyone was staring at me
• So I only worked out on the same 3-4 machines I knew and never tried anything else
• I was afraid to look stupid
• Today people ask me for advice quite regularly
• I have been told people think I am preparing for a competition

• The before is always scary because it’s the unknown.
• But what I’ve found that every time I take a major chance, things work out
• Just like that long tunnel
• Once I enter it, I don’t turn back
  • I don’t ever remember turning back
• It is as if the tunnel carries me along
• Its almost as if I am getting used
• I like this quote by Robert Greene:
•  

You must let go of your need for comfort and security. Creative endeavors are by their nature uncertain. Think of yourself as an explorer. You cannot find anything new if you are unwilling to leave the shore.” — Robert Greene

• This is often what I do
• I tell myself and others – I am willing to give it a try
• Especially since I started climbing – my tolerance for discomfort has definitely widened and I am more open to new experiences
• This is what happens once you try new things more frequently
• As you see yourself passing through tunnels more frequently and making out on the other end in one piece, your hesitation for entering the next one goes down
  • Tunnels become less scary
  •  
• What is a tunnel in your life at the moment that you are hesitating to enter?
• The discomfort you currently feel is already considered progress because you are playing with the idea
• Don’t wait to long
• Go with it
• The quicker you move in, the sooner you are moving along
• The longer you hesitate, the darker the tunnel will appear

• I see this when I climb
• The longer I contemplate a route, the more scared an insecure I become
• I look at the beginning to see if I can get off to the good start and then I go
• I cant correctly estimate anything further up anyways – its so hard to jusge from the ground
• So why strain my nerves unnecessarily
• I just go
• And I figure it out along the way

• Take a chance
• Do it quickly
• And then go
• Your body and your mind will adapt to the new challenge and it will become more familiar the sooner you know it
• You will feel your way through darkness for a while but our eyes adjust
• Soon you will see, figure things out and move right through
• the old feelings of intimidation and apprehension turn into motivation and they keep you going. 

Give it a try

Take on that tunnel ahead of you

And if you feel inclined, I would love to hear about your journey through

            What is the tunnel

            How are you navigating

            What is scaring you

            What is helping you

Maybe I can share your story in an upcoming episode;

Much love