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Episode 442 – Weakness of will

• Welcome my lovely listeners
• I want to Thank you — sincerely — for taking the time to listen to this podcast.
• I am passionate about bringing you content that can help you improve your life!
• This is why I do this
• It’s a lot of work
• It takes time away from other things I also want to do
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• ‘because I know – someone out there will find it useful
• And today I want to ask for your help in return
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• I want to start out with a quote today:

• Our last episode was on the healing power of nature
• Every time I go into nature, I venture out
• I don’t know exactly what will await me
  • Can I climb the mountain route we selected for the day?
  • Will the hike to the base tire me out?
  • Will I remember all my safety procedures
  • Will I tie all my knots properly
• There are many opportunities for me to fail when I climb
  • Some could potentially put my life at risk
• Yet I venture out again and again
• Because I want to get better
• I want to get so good at climbing that I can climb multi-day big wall routes
• This is a huge goal
• I have similarly giant goals in other areas of my life
• And every time I take a courageous step towards these goals, the closer I get to them
• I call them courageous steps because most of them require courage
• I get excited about climbing, but I am scared each time as well
• That is usually a side effect of big goals
  • They look great as an IG post
  • They sound great over dinner with friends
  • They feel great when we think about them and prepare for them
• But they scare the heck out of us when we actually start approaching them with determination and with action
• And while I may have made myself look good now with my climbing example, I have many many other examples where I have not taken a step because I didn’t want to fail
• Or, even worse – I nixed the entire goal because I didn’t have confidence I could accomplish it
• It’s a problem of not following through
• You see
• I am big on follow through
• In college I was a waitress for while and my customers loved me because I was fast
• I don’t like waiting for my drinks, so I made sure my customers never had to wait long for theirs
• Later, in my professional career, follow through was equally important to me
• I didn’t like it when my boss said he would get back to me and then never did,
• So – I made sure that when my direct reports needed something, I made it my priority to follow up
• But then, the question I have for myself:
• Why don’t I follow through with myself each time I make a commitment to do so ?
• The glaring issue is procrastination
  • Instead of practicing my speech in the car – I listen to music
  • Instead of working out abs at the end of my workout, I skip and go home
  • Instead of addressing the attendance issue directly with my direct report, I dance around the topic and keep it general
  • I avoid the obvious
  • I don’t face what needs to get done
  • I procrastinate
• Why?
• Why do we only that which needs to get done, but avoid that which is most important and closest to our heart?
• Everyone knows about procrastination
• We all have areas don’t hesitate a minute to address – like email and social media
• And we have others we avoid until the last minute
• Apparently there is a name for this phenomenon we all know to well
• Greek philosopher Aristotle referred to it as Akrasia, which means weakness of will
• Akrasia is the state of acting contrary to what you decided
• You do the opposite of what you wanted to do
• We can blame Akrasia for everything that holds us back from following through on what we set out to do.
• Great
• Now we have a term for it, but we still have the problem
• How do we overcome it?
  • How do I get myself to sit down for 5 minutes each day and meditate
• Its not that I forget
• Interestingly – the things I need to do are always on my mind
• But I ignore them – gently, consciously and deliberately
• There may be many explanations for the phenomenon of Akrasia but the one I always come back to and that I know is the one that applies to me most of the time is short term versus long term thinking
• We like long term thinking as a concept
• We like to make plans and prepare for what is ahead
  • I talked about this last week in Episode 439
• We plan events months out because the calendar looks nice and empty
• It feels great to fill it up and look forward to those moments that will challenge us, that will bring us closer to our goals
• Even tomorrow looks great
  • We have no meetings in the afternoon so lets plan on leaving work early and hut the gym
• But the closer we get to those events, the more stressed out we become
• Suddenly our comfortable and routine life competes with these new events
  • The couch is more comfortable than the treadmill
  • The bed is warm while the yoga mat is cold
  • The music in the car sounds better than my own voice
• Short term versus long term
• We like to think long term
• But we act short term
• We act short term because we go for immediate gratification
• We go for comfort, ease and for what we know
• The new thing is not part of our routine yet
• Its strange, awkward, uncomfortable, maybe risky
• So we avoid it
• We stay with what we know will make us feel good right now
  • Yoga in the morning – ehh – not comfortable
  • Starting today or tomorrow wont make a difference
  • We wont be able to see results anyway for a while
  • Long term thinking
  • Staying in bed instead?
  • Immediate comfort
  •  
• we values long-term benefits when they are in the future, but we go for immediate gratification when it comes to the present moment
• immediate rewards usually always win over future rewards.
• Its understandable
• The future is unknown
• We have nice ideas and visions about what could be
• But when it comes time to act – to decide between bed or yoga mat, between music and rehearsing, between confrontation or light-hearted banter – we usually go with what is easier, more gratifying and requires less will power
• Weakness of will

• We talked about willpower in the past
• And I shared with you that willpower is overrated
• Sure – you need it the moment your alarm goes off and your brain tells you – ah – stay in bed
• There is a tiny moment of decision making where you forgo immediate gratification and recall your long term objective
  • It’s a tiny moment
  •  
• And that moment can be bridged with strategies that will make it easier for you
  • Strategies that lessen the friction and the stress that’s involved in beginning something new
• But willpower is often used as an excuse why we cannot accomplish something
• When, in reality – we just need better strategies
• And I will cover a few of those on my next episode
• Until then
• I would like for you to think about the areas of your live where Akrasia is at work
• Where you procrastinate and demonstrate weakness of will
• We all have them so don’t feel bad
• But begin to notice them
• Because every change starts with awareness of the issue
• And even if you are unable to do anything about it for a while
  • Like I am every morning when I don’t meditate
• Eventually you will find the right strategy to bridge that gap and get you there
• It has worked for me in many areas that used to sit on the backburner and now have been tackled
• It just takes a good strategy
• So make sure to tune into our next episode to get a few tips on overcoming Akrasia

Until then

Much love