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Episode 483 – Conversations with strangers

• “Conversation with strangers “
• What a great title for an episode
• Sounds like the name of a movie
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• And I wont share all the wonderful conversations I have had with strangers because I barely have had any
• Its usually the people I am with that initiate them
  • People that are less worried about what others might think
  • People that are more open to others
  • People that are seeking human connection
• Apparently – that is not me
• Because I hesitate to reach out to strangers
• I may say hello, or good morning, or how is it going
• The conventional platitudes come easily out of my mouth
• I have practiced them enough
• But I rarely take the time to get to know someone I don’t know, if I don’t have to
• The few times I have done so, I have had quite some surprising outcomes
• And this is why my advise today is genuine and straight-forward:
• Start conversations with strangers
• Don’t wait for them to start
• Don’t try to dodge the conversations
• Just initiate them
• I will dazzle you with 2 recent stories to support my recommendation
  • So that you believe me
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• For the first one – I can pad myself on the back
• I don’t have many but this is the second instance where I found a climbing partner because I spoke to a stranger
• A while ago I shared with you how I found my first outdoor climbing partner who became also my mentor and taught me everything I now know
• in the last couple of months I have been considering climbing in the gym to build some strength and challenge myself on harder routes
• but I don’t have anyone to climb with her in Oakland
• and this held me back from going
• My current outdoor partner lives in San Jose which is to far to meet up on a weeknight
• But then we met 2 guys while climbing in Tahoe a few weekends ago
• It was one of those mornings where we arrived at the crag early but my partner kept insisting that the route we were planning on climbing was further to the right
• Well – this time I was right because I had been there before
• I walked left but at the same time 2 guys came up and beat us to the route
• They were nice and we ended up chatting together
• We met them again later in the day at a second route we were both climbing and this one had a very difficult traverse
• I was leading and when I saw one of them hesitating for a long time on that section, I got nervous
• By the time I came up- they were sitting on a ledge just after that challenging traverse and what I didn’t know was that they filmed me
• I did fine on the section and I gave them my email address so they can send me the video, which one of them who lives in SFO did
• And – the following week we met at a climbing gym in the city to climb
• This has now turned into a weekly routine
  • Every Thursday we climb
• I found a climbing partner – again – because I chatted
• While my climbing partner was all quiet and probably unhappy because I was right about the route, I was friendly to 2 strangers
• I didn’t have a goal in mind
• I just wanted the video they captured of me
• I had considered a climbing gym, but certainly not in San Francisco, which is out of my way
• But because I was friendly, and probably also because I impressed them with my fearless transition on the traverse, I now have a gym climbing partner
• And sometimes, he has another friend there when we climb, introducing me to even more climbers
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• Being nice to strangers pays off
• Even if you part ways and never see each other again,
• You have nothing to lose, only to gain
• You learn about someones’ ideas and perspective which can change the way you look at the world
• maybe you get the chance to help someone
• Here is my second example:
• Watch for the ripple effect in that one!
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• This past weekend I was in Yosemite for Labor Day weekend – with my first climbing partner
• He flew in from out of town and we had some great climbs planned
• On the first day we climbed Tenaya Peak in a record time of 5 hours car to car
• We free soloed 11 pitches and only roped up at the 12^th pitch
• My climbing partner is a very talkative guy
• And he loves teaching and educating others about safe climbing methods
• On our way up, we passed a couple of young guys that were climbing on a rope
• As a side-note, I felt pretty good passing them
• Usually people pass us, especially youngens – they are faster and more fearless
• But these 2 were new to climbing and as we passed them we learned that one of them was turning 25 that day and his goal was to climb 25 pitches that day
• We met them again later on the summit where we took pictures of each other
• And then my partner invited them to hike down together because he knew the route and knows that its easy to get lost
• At the cars our birthday friend was hoping to meet another climbing partner who would take him up another climb so can reach his birthday goal
• He was pretty tired – he started the day at midnight to ensure he gets his goal completed.
• So they made coffee and we joined them
• I would have liked to climb something else – it was only noon
• But my climbing partner said we should relax and gather energy for the next day
• So when his next climbing partner arrived, a super-nice woman – we joined them to watch them climb
• This turned out to be helpful because the next day we were to tired to climb the long route we planned and I got to lead the route we watched the day before
• I now had a very good picture of the different pictures – most of the route was visible from the parking lot
• The next day, after I finished the route we went for a swim in Tenaya lake and who did we meet?
• The girl who climbed with the birthday boy before
• She and her friend also went swimming and I casually asked them where they are staying
• She immediately offered us room at her campsite which was just what we needed
• We had a limited supply of gas left in the van from driving back and forth all day between our sleeping place, the climb, the store for ice cream, then the lake
• And the next morning we wanted to summit cathedral peak which is very close to the campsite
• This saved us a long trip out of the park that night and a nice spot in the woods
• All this happened because my climbing partner was friendly – struck up a conversation with those boys
• Through them we met other people and a campsite
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• Talking to strangers can bring unexpected surprises
• the people we know will tell us what we know,
• will do what we know
• because we know them
• the surprises from those people are rare
• yet a stranger can bring magic into your life
• things you never even considered
• doors can suddenly open
• opportunities can arise
• a problem we have been can lugging around can suddenly be resolved
• because we opened ourselves up to a different outcome
• I am being honest:
• There were many moments during that weekend where I was just waiting for my partner to finish his conversations with strangers
• I wanted to go on with my plan
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• But I am slowly learning that I might be closing myself off to the magic of life that can take place when I don’t stick to my plans so rigidly
• A stranger is often a detour from the course
• But instead of looking at it as a waste of time, we can look at it as a special opportunity to learn something new
• Maybe there was a reason we ran into this person
• Maybe they crossed our path to show us something
• Teach us something about ourselves
• What if we look at it like that next time?

I will certainly work on that because I have seen in my own life how generously it can pay off

Much love